December 28, 2022

We here at Team Fergmeijer were thrilled to have won the “wittiest and punniest column ever” award from the Expositor, as announced in the editorial on Wednesday, December 14th. To be honest, it was an honour to even be nominated. Like many of our farmer fans, apparently we are outstanding in our field. It’s been quite the year. You may not have heard: we also almost won the 2022 Best Neckwear Award (but it was a tie). Last year we won the award for most secretive writers. We can’t tell you how much that meant to us! And we couldn’t have done it all without you, our loyal readers.

Don’t forget! The municipal office is closed through to January 2nd, and will re-open Tuesday, January 3, 2023. Likewise, the municipal landfill will be closed January 1st, and the Library will be closed December 31st. 

 

We have a bevy of birthdays to share! Happy birthday to Matt G, Darren H, Deb F, Melanie H, Jen W-F, Chris T, Bev W, Harrison N, Kirby P, and Team Fergmeijer’s Mainland Mom! Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from floating all over the room so you don’t have to chase it.

 

Last year for her birthday, one half of Team Fergmeijer received a t-shirt that says, “I’m a nudist.” She hasn’t worn it yet. 

 

It was a dark day in Kagawong last week. The darkest day of the year, in fact. But now that the winter solstice has come and gone, our days are slowly getting longer again. Bring on summer!

 

Usually we wouldn’t mention when we think someone has had a bit of work done, but in the case of the lighthouse, it’s pretty hard to miss. The soil remediation work around the lighthouse structure has been completed, and it will be dressed up with some grass come spring time. 

 

There’s just a few days left to get your guess in! The Billings Library has a Dig and Doug cedar bookcase up for grabs in a fundraising candy jar challenge. Examine the jar in the library - $2 gets you guess (or three for $5). Closest estimate walks away with the bookcase! Okay, they’ll let you put it in your vehicle and drive it away if you must. 

 

We find a lot of our jokes and puns on the internet. This week we tried looking up ice cream puns online, but then the browser froze. Later we tried a different direction, and googled “Missing medieval servant.” It came back “Page not found.” 

 

The township is looking for interested volunteers to join a variety of committees. Applications are being accepted until Friday January 6th, 2023. You can find the application form on the township website (https://billingstwp.ca/committees/). If you have any questions please contact Tiana Mills at (705) 282-2611 x225 or tmills@billingstwp.ca

 

The fire hall remains off limits due to dangerous structural issues that have come to light during the renovations. The township is investigating the options put forth by the engineering company, but until a solution is implemented, the access to bulk water from the fire hall is completely off-limits. Please utilize the water at the public works garage at 34 Carter Crescent. There are two hoses available: one between the two truck bays, and the other next to the main door. Please be mindful of the bay doors, and do not leave your vehicle unattended.

 

For anyone in the lower village that has been hearing loud spaceship/laser noises (if you’ve heard it, you know what we’re talking about), it is just the sound of snow buildup sliding down the sides of the new rink roof. And this might be the weirdest *real* thing we’ve ever written in this column. 

 

A bit of advice this week: be careful when cleaning after the holidays. One half of Team Fergmeijer was dusting their bookshelves and a copy of “A Christmas Carol” got knocked off and fell on their toe. It hurt like the dickens! Have a good week!