January 29, 2021

This time last year, we reported on a flock of pigeons attempting to take over the KGB’s territory near Lebar Hill. Given that the KGB (Kagawong Gobble Brigade) have been spotted downtown lately, we aren’t sure if the coo d’etat was successful and the turkeys have been forced to scope out new stomping grounds, or if the pigeons were defeated, and the turkeys are just getting cocky. Either way, they will have to be cautious; the deer run a pretty tight ship in the village proper. We aren’t sure they will take the bird invasion sitting down. 

Have you been feeling the need to move? Desperate to get your groove on? Looking to work off the last few weeks of confinement? Good news! Manitoulin Zumba has gone virtual! Contact Casey via Facebook (Zumba Fitness on Manitoulin Island) to arrange for the Zoom link and payment. 

The village skating rink has been a busy place the last week or two. Thanks to Andrew, Martin, and all the volunteers that make it possible. This year especially it is a fantastic activity for the community!

In the latest installment of “Is this your first time reading the Team Fergmeijer column?” we explore how puns can brighten even the darkest days. Speaking of lightening the mood, watt would you do if you searched on Amazon for ways to light your oil lamp, only to have it say “no matches found?” Filamentary, my dear! Sooner or lighter, results are bound to appear.

The province-wide stay-at-home order has been extended into February. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

We’ve been looking for a new hobby lately, what with the extended lockdown. We were really excited about taking up fencing over the last week or two. Unfortunately, the police say we have to give it all back. Spoil sports!

The ever popular “Book-a-Book” program is back at the library! Books, movies, and board games - oh my! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit the library website (www.billings-library.com) for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist. The staff will do their best to package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

The library has also added a new item to its collection - Ontario Parks passes (courtesy of the Ontario government)! That’s right - you can sign out a pass that lets you into any Ontario provincial park for free, AND the librarian will also throw in a $5 coupon for parking! Passes can be signed out for a week at a time. Contact the library for more information. 

Happiest of happy birthdays goes out to former Kagawongian Lloyd N who turned 29 this week. No big party this year, but we know your friends are with you in spirit! Team Fergmeijer will eat at least 2 slices of cake in your honour!

With all the health and wellness references in the news these days, Team Fergmeijer can’t understand what all the fuss is about needing medical training to draw blood. All we need is a red crayon. Have a great week!

January 22, 2021

Team Fergmeijer was looking back over the pictures from New Year’s Eve 2015. It was a simpler time then, people could leave their homes and gather together in large numbers. We were really looking forward to having a good time out on the town. We even rented a limousine for the occasion. We paid $300 for it, only to find out that the fee didn’t include a driver. We still can’t believe we paid that much money and had nothing to chauffeur it. It was still a better night than this past New Year’s. One half of the team accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink and ended up waiting for 2 hours at the hospital waiting to be seen. 

We continue to be in a province-wide state of emergency, complete with stay-at-home order. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

One upside of the extended lockdown measures taken by the province is that the ever popular “Book-a-Book” program is back at the library! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit the library website for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist of books. The staff will package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

The library has also added a new item to its collection - Ontario Parks passes (courtesy of the Ontario government)! That’s right - you can sign out a pass that lets you into any Ontario provincial park for free, AND the librarian will also throw in a $5 coupon for parking! Passes can be signed out for a week at a time. Contact the library for more information. 

Felicitations go out to birthday girls Lisa L, Susie D and Jenna C who all have birthdays over the next few days. Lisa and Jenna are turning 29 (and making it look good). Susie is out west at the moment, and we’re pretty sure there’s a 2-year time difference between Ontario and Alberta. We just can’t remember if that means Susie is 27 or 31. Either way, here’s hoping MBB treats you right!

The township has an employment opportunity for a part-time maintenance and cleaning person to service various buildings in the township. For more information visit the township website (www.billingstwp.ca) or their Facebook page (facebook.com/billingstownshipkagawong). 

With the province moving into an extended lockdown last week, there are updated Township of Billings shutdown closures/modifications: the Kagawong Fitness Centre will be closed until at least January 23rd, and the Municipal Office will be open by appointment only until at least January 25th (please call ahead: 705-282-2611).

We’ve been reading up on the natural world lately. Did you know, in the wild, falcons live to be about 13 years old. That means that all falcons alive today were born in the 21st century. You might say they are… millennial falcons. To be honest, we were focusing more on the animals and fish that live in the ocean. You see, a friend suggested that the next big trend is going to involve camping with sea creatures. He went into a lot more detail, but that’s the gist of it for all in tents and porpoises. 

If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges, let us know any time. Our door is always open. Have a great week!

January 15, 2021

With the latest announcement from our Premier, we are back in a province-wide state of emergency, complete with stay-at-home order. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. Remember all those people who said you would amount to nothing sitting around watching tv all day? Well, look at you now - saving the world! That said, remember that your pajamas would have you think all's right with the kingdom, but it’s a good idea to try your real pants on every few days just to be sure. 

One upside of the extended lockdown measures taken by the province is that the ever popular “Book-a-Book” program is back at the library! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit the library website for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist of books. The staff will package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

Who came up with the idea to sing happy birthday when washing your hands? Now everytime we come out of the bathroom we’re craving cake. 

The township has an employment opportunity for a part-time maintenance and cleaning person to service various buildings in the township. For more information visit the township website (www.billingstwp.ca) or their Facebook page (facebook.com/billingstownshipkagawong). 

In Germany there are reports of people stocking up on sausages and cheese. They’re preparing for a wurst-kase scenario. 

With the province moving into an extended lockdown last week, there are updated Township of Billings shutdown closures/modifications: the Kagawong Fitness Centre will be closed until at least January 23rd, and the Municipal Office will be open by appointment only until at least January 25th (please call ahead: 705-282-2611).

What’s the best way to avoid touching your face during this pandemic? A glass of wine in one hand, a cupcake in the other. 

Remember that time Steve Paikin was spotted at the summer market? Or the time that musical group played at the dock? Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs do not easily contract the virus. Dogs that have been in quarantine have been released. To summarize, WHO let the dogs out. Have a great week!

January 8, 2021

One half of Team Fergmeijer decided to try online dating last year, but she didn’t have much luck. She dated a crane operator, and was really let down. The next date was with a barber, but the evening was cut short. She clicked on one profile of an HVAC specialist, but just got the cold shoulder. She was optimistic about the doctor, but he had no patience. Things started well with the librarian, but she dumped him when he insisted they had to keep it quiet. She went out with one who was a golf pro - they really hit it off, but the relationship quickly ran its course. After that she fell in love with a fireman and got burned. Then there was the bridge builder; it didn’t end well and she still isn’t over him. We are hoping for better luck at relationships in 2021!

There were several birthdays in the community over the holidays, so the happiest of happy birthday wishes go out to John F, Melanie H, Chris T and Jen W, who all turned 29. We hope you were like a pickle and relished each moment of your special days!

A hearty thank-you to everyone who performed in and attended the first virtual Kagawong Christmas Concert on Saturday, December 19th. We had over 50 families in attendance, all the way from Surrey, British Columbia, to Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia, and even Peru! All in all, over $700 was raised for Manitoulin Family Resources in lieu of the usual non-perishable collection. Did you miss the live show? Not to worry, you can check out the video at https://tinyurl.com/KagawongXmas AND you can still donate at www.mfresources.net.

Our deepest sympathies go out to the Newland family on the loss of Oliver. He was a vital part of the community and he will be missed. The visitations on Friday and Saturday are by invitation only due to Covid restrictions, but a spring funeral and burial will be held at the Kagawong cemetery for family and friends to celebrate Oliver’s life. Memorial donations can be made to the Mindemoya Hospital Auxiliary or to the Billings Heritage Centre through simpsonfuneralhome.ca

Remember that time the Kagawong Gobble Brigade took over the road to Maple Ridge? Or the time the township celebrated that special event? Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

Deep thought for the week: If Lucille Ball’s show was filmed on Manitoulin, would it have been called “Isle of Lucy”? Have a great week!