If it has been the ultimutt ruff week for you, never fear, Team Fergmeijer is here to cheer you up and help you pug-get about your troubles. We are now firmly in the dog days of summer, so true to fashion, we thought we’d spice up this week’s column with some doggone pawesome dog puns. Hopefully you don’t find them repugnant, but if you do, well, don’t hound us about it.
We extend best wishes to Lisa H. who celebrated her 29th birthday this past week. Just remember, everything gets better with age! Except cookies...and fruit...and the structural integrity of buildings…
Our friend got a new puppy this week and she’s been smiling from ear terrier ever since. She has plans to take him to the groomer today, but doesn’t want them to Maltese his fur too much. After that, she was taking him on a spa date, but they wouldn’t allow pets. Seems they were too pawsh.
Curious about construction? There is an in-person, public information session on the Kagawong Main Street reconstruction engineering design 2020-2021 coming up on Tuesday, August 11. There will be two identical sessions: one in the afternoon, and one in the evening; both will be in the Kagawong Pavilion across from the Municipal Office. Contact tgordon@billingstwp.ca or 705 923-6189 for more information.
And what’s summer without a little roadwork? Hard surfacing is expected on the following roads between now and September 1st: Rainbow Heights, Upper Street, and the south end of Monument Road. Be patient with the construction crews, and think about how smooth your ride will be when the roads are done!
Why do dogs make terrible dancers? Because they have two left feet.
The library is open for business! They have instituted some precautions, like masks and hand sanitizing being required inside the library. The library’s free wifi will continue to be available 24/7, but must be accessed from outside; library computers and workstations are unavailable at this time. The “BOOK A BOOK” pickup service is still available if you prefer. Emily is keen to see some friendly (above the mask) faces back in the library again!
Your favourite Kagawong columnists, Team Fergmeijer, have partnered up with the Billings Public Library with a pun-draiser! Check out the library’s Facebook page or website (billings-library.com) for a very fine selection of pun-themed shirts, tote bags, onesies, and face masks. All proceeds from sales go to the library.
This column has seen some pretty ridiculous statements made by yours truly, but this one may take the cake: Please refrain from swimming in the active construction zone downtown. The township would like to remind you that the area surrounding the small craft marina is a dangerous construction zone. Even the water part.
If the sunny days of summer have you looking for love, may we suggest that when meeting someone for the first time, an ice breaker can be a great conversation starter, like, ‘Are you my backyard? Because I dig you.’ If your significant other asks how she looks, just tell her that she’s not fat, she’s just a little husky. If that doesn’t go over well, you can always fall back on a simple ‘I’m mutts about you!’
Whew! To tolerate this many dog puns you’d have to be a Saint (Bernard). Have a great week!
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