February 1, 2019

It’s cold.

It's so cold we had to break the smoke off the chimney.

It's so cold we had to open the refrigerator to heat the house.

It’s so cold the chickens have started lining up outside the cafe for a turn in the oven.

It's so cold that roosters are rushing into KFC and begging to use the deep fryer! Little do they know that in Kagawong, KFC stands for the Kagawong Fitness Centre, which is open all through the winter! Contact Sharon Jackson for membership information.

The cold isn’t all bad: Winterfest is coming! Saturday, February 9 from 10am to 2pm there will be all sorts of  wintery activities going on at the Park Centre! There will be lumberjack-themed games for the whole family outside, as well as a warming station with coffee, tea, and the Snowflake Café canteen inside. Proudly sponsored by the Billings Recreation Committee. 

It's so cold a streaker froze in mid-streak! Mayor Anderson hung a plaque around his neck so we have to pretend he's a statue until Spring.

It's so cold we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.

It's so cold, we’re drinking hot sauce instead of coffee at the monthly Euchre tournament. Every third Wednesday evening, come out to the Park Centre and try your luck in the monthly tournaments. There is also a euchre tournament as part of Winterfest, beginning at 1:30pm at the Park Centre. Remember, there’s warmth in numbers.

It's so cold trees are chopping themselves into firewood.

It's so cold, we actually saw a teenager pull his pants up.

Zumba classes have returned! Every Thursday from 7-8pm at the Park Centre. Drop in rate is $10 per class, or pay the entire month at a time at a rate of $5 per class x the number of sessions in the month. Choose the plan that works for you!

It’s so cold we couldn’t really clean the house; we just defrosted it.

It’s so cold the mail broke when we tried to open an envelope.

It’s so cold that even Elsa is bothered by it.

What do three little maids, a Lord High Executioner, and a grand Pooh-Bah have in common? They are all appearing onstage in Manitoulin Secondary School’s production of The Mikado! Performances are February 14-16 at 7pm at the high school, and feature a number of local youth onstage and in the band. Tickets available at the door. Don’t miss it!

It’s so cold these are the only jokes we could write this week. 

Have a great week!