July 24, 2020

With the ferry impressive weather we’ve had for most of July, Team Fergmeijer decided it was aboat time we got out on the water. We were knot shore where we wanted to go, but were feeling nauti and decided to seas the day! So, we went with a few friends on a sea-nic route around the Benjis (off course, your’s truly were the navigators), and then we settled in for a bit of a get-together at the marina. Half way through the night, some jerks crashed the party; they just barged right in! We can’t think of any more boat puns, canoe? More will come to us schooner or later. 

After weeks of reporting on things that were closed, it sure is nice to be able to tell you about all the things around town that are open again! The river trail and falls are open, though the stairs from the parking lot to the falls remain closed. The playground equipment at the beach and the game board are open, too! And for those who miss the friendly faces in the town office, the municipal office in their newly renovated space in the Old Mill is open to the public again. To top it all off, the fire ban has been lifted as well! Safe social distancing and hand washing/sanitizing is still recommended when using any of these facilities. 

Billings has seen the ratio of Theijsmeijers to non-Theijsmeijers rise significantly over the last few years and that means the sheer number of Theijsmeijer birthdays has increased as well. This week saw TWO Theijsmeijers celebrating - Arik turned the big 29 on Tuesday, sharing the big day with Ethan (who has not yet hit 29, but is getting closer all the time). Happiest of happy birthdays to both of them!

Also celebrating another trip around the sun are two Theijsmeijer-adjacent honourary Kagawongians, Sophie H and Darcy D. They were unavailable for comment at the time of writing, but we are sure they would have said something suitably teenager-ish like, “Awwww snap!” or, “Dude, that’s totally fleet.”  

The incomparable Mike C (aka MBB) turns 29 this week; possibly his last as a full-time Kagawongian. We hope he celebrated it in style! Former Kagawongian Jen C (aka MBD) celebrates her 29th year also! It was a bit of a roller coaster, but we are sure she’s enjoying the calmer waters now. Long-time Kagawongian, Meredith N is another one who turns 29 this week. Looking at her you wouldn’t believe she’s grandmother to two adorable little bundles. We hope the grandpuppies gave her a suitably enthusiastic greeting on her big day. 

The library is welcoming patrons again! Masks and hand sanitizing will be required inside the library and only 2 patrons will be allowed in the library at a time, with a 15 minute time limit for browsing. The library’s free wifi will continue to be available 24/7, but must be accessed from outside; library computers and workstations are unavailable at this time. The “BOOK A BOOK” pickup service is still available if you prefer. The library board appreciates your patience as they navigate this reopening. 

Your favourite Kagawong columnists, Team Fergmeijer, have partnered up with the Billings Public Library with a pun-draiser! Check out the library’s Facebook page or website (billings-library.com) for a very fine selection of pun-themed shirts, tote bags, onesies, and face masks. All proceeds from sales go to the library.

Have you gotten your market fix this week? The regular Kagawong market (held at the Old Church On The Hill) is every Wednesday in July and August from 10am-3pm. On Saturdays, check out the market at Sugar Bush Coffee House from 10am - 2pm! 

FREE fresh fruits and veggies continue to be available each week courtesy of Noojmowin Teg. Pickups are Fridays from 1:30pm to 3:30pm (or until supplies last) at the Billings Fire Hall (95 Main Street). This week: apples and peppers!

Billings may have another mystery to add to it’s collection. Reports have come in that an unexplained force has removed a rather enormous boulder from it’s home along the road leading towards Maple Point. The town has denied responsibility for it, and although some say that the presence of tire tracks means it was moved by humans, we are still leaning towards the alien abduction theory. If you have any information, reach out to us (kagawong@live.ca)

Since we are dealing in conspiracy theories, we’d like to point out that a pair of Sandhill Cranes have been seen lounging around Peter G’s property lately. A less trusting pair of reporters might speculate that he is wooing them with food or other crane-related luxuries in order to encourage them to arrive early next spring, thus ensuring his reign in the Fergmeijer Crane Spotting competition. 

Did you hear about the big paddle sale at the boat store? It attracted quite a crowd. Apparently getting to the counter was quite the oar deal. Have a great week!