July 31, 2020

With phase 3 rolling out across the province, this week Team Fergmeijer decided to venture out finally and shop for our own groceries (oh the luxury!).  We carefully read up on what the requirements were for stores, and made sure to follow the guidelines that say it’s enough to just wear a mask while we are inside. Boy were we in for a surprise when everyone else had pants on! Truthfully, that wasn’t the first time we’ve left the house, just the first time shopping in-person. We’ve gone for many walks and scenic drives. Our Manitoulin mom is perhaps a bit over-cautious and always tells us to be sure to put the mask on any time we leave the house. And we do, but you have to wonder if the cats aren’t sick of that movie by now. 

Today is the LAST of the free fresh fruits and veggies that have been made available courtesy of Noojmowin Teg. Pickup is today (Friday) from 1:30pm to 3:30pm (or until supplies last) at the Billings Fire Hall (95 Main Street). This final bundle of food includes mini cucumbers and oranges!

Felicitations go out to former Kagawongian Beth Gordon who turns 29 today. She certainly doesn’t look her age. Or act it!

Curious about construction? There is an in-person, public information session on the Kagawong Main Street reconstruction engineering design 2020-2021 coming up on Tuesday, August 11. There will be two identical sessions: one in the afternoon, and one in the evening; both will be in the Kagawong Pavilion across from the Municipal Office. Contact tgordon@billingstwp.ca or 705 923-6189 for more information.

And what’s summer without a little roadwork? Hard surfacing is expected on the following roads between now and September 1st: Rainbow Heights, Upper Street, and the south end of Monument Road. Be patient with the construction crews, and think about how smooth your ride will be when the roads are done!

The library is welcoming patrons again! They have instituted some precautions, like masks and hand sanitizing being required inside the library. The library’s free wifi will continue to be available 24/7, but must be accessed from outside; library computers and workstations are unavailable at this time. The “BOOK A BOOK” pickup service is still available if you prefer. The library board appreciates your patience as they navigate this reopening. 

Your favourite Kagawong columnists, Team Fergmeijer, have partnered up with the Billings Public Library with a pun-draiser! Check out the library’s Facebook page or website (billings-library.com) for a very fine selection of pun-themed shirts, tote bags, onesies, and face masks. All proceeds from sales go to the library.

Your trusty correspondents have dug into the issue of the giant boulder that mysteriously disappeared last week. We investigated as deeply and accurately as we do all of our reports, but have been unable to solve the case. We did come across a picnic table upside down in a giant patch of poison ivy near the power station on the river trail. Coincidence? We think not! If you have any information on this or any other Billings mystery, reach out to us (kagawong@live.ca)

And mask, but not least, our words of wisdom for this week: Mask not what your community can do for you, mask what you can do for your community. Have a great week!

July 24, 2020

With the ferry impressive weather we’ve had for most of July, Team Fergmeijer decided it was aboat time we got out on the water. We were knot shore where we wanted to go, but were feeling nauti and decided to seas the day! So, we went with a few friends on a sea-nic route around the Benjis (off course, your’s truly were the navigators), and then we settled in for a bit of a get-together at the marina. Half way through the night, some jerks crashed the party; they just barged right in! We can’t think of any more boat puns, canoe? More will come to us schooner or later. 

After weeks of reporting on things that were closed, it sure is nice to be able to tell you about all the things around town that are open again! The river trail and falls are open, though the stairs from the parking lot to the falls remain closed. The playground equipment at the beach and the game board are open, too! And for those who miss the friendly faces in the town office, the municipal office in their newly renovated space in the Old Mill is open to the public again. To top it all off, the fire ban has been lifted as well! Safe social distancing and hand washing/sanitizing is still recommended when using any of these facilities. 

Billings has seen the ratio of Theijsmeijers to non-Theijsmeijers rise significantly over the last few years and that means the sheer number of Theijsmeijer birthdays has increased as well. This week saw TWO Theijsmeijers celebrating - Arik turned the big 29 on Tuesday, sharing the big day with Ethan (who has not yet hit 29, but is getting closer all the time). Happiest of happy birthdays to both of them!

Also celebrating another trip around the sun are two Theijsmeijer-adjacent honourary Kagawongians, Sophie H and Darcy D. They were unavailable for comment at the time of writing, but we are sure they would have said something suitably teenager-ish like, “Awwww snap!” or, “Dude, that’s totally fleet.”  

The incomparable Mike C (aka MBB) turns 29 this week; possibly his last as a full-time Kagawongian. We hope he celebrated it in style! Former Kagawongian Jen C (aka MBD) celebrates her 29th year also! It was a bit of a roller coaster, but we are sure she’s enjoying the calmer waters now. Long-time Kagawongian, Meredith N is another one who turns 29 this week. Looking at her you wouldn’t believe she’s grandmother to two adorable little bundles. We hope the grandpuppies gave her a suitably enthusiastic greeting on her big day. 

The library is welcoming patrons again! Masks and hand sanitizing will be required inside the library and only 2 patrons will be allowed in the library at a time, with a 15 minute time limit for browsing. The library’s free wifi will continue to be available 24/7, but must be accessed from outside; library computers and workstations are unavailable at this time. The “BOOK A BOOK” pickup service is still available if you prefer. The library board appreciates your patience as they navigate this reopening. 

Your favourite Kagawong columnists, Team Fergmeijer, have partnered up with the Billings Public Library with a pun-draiser! Check out the library’s Facebook page or website (billings-library.com) for a very fine selection of pun-themed shirts, tote bags, onesies, and face masks. All proceeds from sales go to the library.

Have you gotten your market fix this week? The regular Kagawong market (held at the Old Church On The Hill) is every Wednesday in July and August from 10am-3pm. On Saturdays, check out the market at Sugar Bush Coffee House from 10am - 2pm! 

FREE fresh fruits and veggies continue to be available each week courtesy of Noojmowin Teg. Pickups are Fridays from 1:30pm to 3:30pm (or until supplies last) at the Billings Fire Hall (95 Main Street). This week: apples and peppers!

Billings may have another mystery to add to it’s collection. Reports have come in that an unexplained force has removed a rather enormous boulder from it’s home along the road leading towards Maple Point. The town has denied responsibility for it, and although some say that the presence of tire tracks means it was moved by humans, we are still leaning towards the alien abduction theory. If you have any information, reach out to us (kagawong@live.ca)

Since we are dealing in conspiracy theories, we’d like to point out that a pair of Sandhill Cranes have been seen lounging around Peter G’s property lately. A less trusting pair of reporters might speculate that he is wooing them with food or other crane-related luxuries in order to encourage them to arrive early next spring, thus ensuring his reign in the Fergmeijer Crane Spotting competition. 

Did you hear about the big paddle sale at the boat store? It attracted quite a crowd. Apparently getting to the counter was quite the oar deal. Have a great week!

July 17, 2020

Staying pawsitive during the pandemic has been tough. Sometimes we have found ourselves to be feline nearly hissterical. Good thing cat puns don’t freak meowt; like fur real. 

At the time of writing, there is a complete fire ban in Billings. Keep an eye on the Township of Billings Facebook page for updates. 

Connected to the municipal water system and watering your lawn or garden? Restrictions are now in effect: even-numbered municipal addresses may water on even calendar days, and odd-numbered municipal addresses may water on odd calendar days. Watering can only be done from 5:00 am - 8:00 am and 6:00 pm - 11:59 pm. Thank you for helping us conserve water!

The landfill hours have been extended again, Sunday hours will be 10am - 4pm. Tuesday and Thursday hours remain 2pm-6pm. 

We were on a video call with a friend from Britain the other day. She was very critical of our apartment, so we knocked her flat. 

As part of the phase 3 reopening, the library will be welcoming patrons again starting on Tuesday July 21st. Some precautions will still be in place to protect the public and staff: masks and hand sanitizing will be required inside the library, we ask that only 2 patrons be in the library at a time, and a 15 minute time limit will be in place. The library’s free wifi will continue to be available 24/7, but must be accessed from outside; library computers and workstations are unavailable at this time. Book returns will continue to be accepted in the return slot only. They will also continue with the “BOOK A BOOK” pickup service throughout the summer. The library board appreciates your patience as they navigate this reopening. 

The new reopening plan isn’t the only exciting thing the library has going on right now - Your favourite Kagawong columnists, Team Fergmeijer, have partnered up with the Billings Public Library to raise some funds (one might even call it a pun-draiser!). Check out the library’s Facebook page or website (billings-library.com) for a very fine selection of pun-themed shirts, tote bags, onesies, and face masks. With these items, you no longer have to get closer than 6 feet to know whether someone is clever and sophisticated... if they are wearing a Team Fergmeijer limited-edition shirt, that's a given! All proceeds from sales go to the library.

Little known Team Fergmeijer fact: we do a lot of sponsored silences for charity, but we don’t like to talk about it. 

Have you gotten your market fix this week? The regular Kagawong market (held at the Old Church On The Hill) is every Wednesday in July and August from 10-3pm. On Saturdays, check out the market at Sugar Bush Coffee House! 

FREE fresh fruits and veggies continue to be available each week courtesy of Noojmowin Teg. Pickups are Fridays from 1:30pm to 3:30pm (or until supplies last) at the Billings Fire Hall (95 Main Street). This week: tomatoes and grapes!

A lot of people have been baking during the pandemic. A friendly reminder to put safety first, especially if you are making a large fruit cake. Be careful not to fall in; there can be some very strong currants in there. Have a great week!

July 10, 2020

We overheard someone talking smack about Canada a few days ago, going on and on about how we spell things weird. We were having Nunavut, and confronted them saying, “Why, I Ottawa….forget U!” They were being a Mount Royal pain in the behind, but we were in a Huron to get home, so we just walked away. Some people just can’t help poutine on airs and acting all Superior. Thank goodness Canada’s not a superpower, or everyone would be sorry.
Loyal readers of this column will know that for Team Fergmeijer, it is never officially summer in Billings until local celebrity, Steve Paikin is sighted in town. Well, dear readers, it is officially summer for yours truly! Last weekend saw some unsubstantiated reports of Paikins in the area, but it wasn’t until Tuesday afternoon that we had confirmed the rumours for ourselves. Welcome back Mr. Paikin! We apologize in advance for the fangirling that will undoubtedly be to come.  

The landfill hours have been extended again, Sunday hours will be 10am - 4pm. Tuesday and Thursday hours remain 2pm-6pm. 

Billings Library is pleased to welcome back Emily for the summer! She will be helping to expand the library’s “BOOK A BOOK” pickup service to three days a week! Simply call or email the library with your ‘wish list’ items for pickup the following Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday. For details and book lists (including new additions) visit www.billings-library.com 
In related library news, keep your eyes open for a new fundraiser that pairs the library up with the pun-tastic creativity of Team Fergmeijer. It will be launching next week and will run throughout the summer. We already know what the fundraiser is, and still we can barely contain the suspense! Details will be in this, most trusted news source, as well as on the library website. 
We heard Canada has plans to launch its first manned space shuttle next year. It will be called the Apollo-G. 
Time to get your market on! The regular Kagawong market will be held at the Old Church On The Hill as the downtown location will be off-limits due to construction. It will still be held each Wednesday in July and August from 10-2pm. Sugar Bush Coffee House has been holding their market for the last couple of weeks and it has been a great success, too! We can’t wait to see what we find at both markets throughout the summer. 
FREE fresh fruits and veggies continue to be available each week courtesy of Noojmowin Teg. Pickups are Fridays from 1:30pm to 3:30pm (or until supplies last) at the Billings Fire Hall (95 Main Street). This week: peppers and cucumbers!
Being a Canadian can be confusing sometimes. You sound like an American, write like a Brit, and throw in just enough French words to freak everybody out. 
Netflix is coming out with Canadian versions of classic movies and we can’t wait to watch them all: Nickelback to the Future, A Tim’s to Kill, Stop Or My Mom Will Chicoutimi, 28 Ehs Later, Dial M for Mercer, The Full Mountie, A Few Good Mansbridges, Rockies 1 through 6, The Three Muskokateers, Inuit You Did Last Summer, Mr and Mississauga, Full Puffy Jacket, War of the Squirrels, Dirty Barrie, Zamboni on the Fourth of July, and the always popular, The Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. Have a great week!