May 31, 2019

With summer vacation coming up, Team Fergmeijer has been daydreaming of doing some travelling. There are so many places to visit, that pondering them all has sort of taken over our brains. (Don’t worry - there’s Norway this will get too silly; Israeli hard to make puns out of place names.) Seriously though, if you had the opportunity to go to Amsterdam, wooden shoe?

Today is the last day to submit a haiku for possible display in Kagawong this summer. Contact Sharon Alkenbrack or Diane Larocque for more information.

Looking to Havana good time? Next Friday the folks at St. John’s Anglican church are hosting a homemade lasagna dinner at the Park Centre! Stop in between 5pm-7pm and get a hearty meal (eat in or take out) for $16 ($8 for children under 10).

Congratulations go out to Rachel and Pat whose family has grown by one! The adorable bundle of love is called Archie. Team Fergmeijer doesn’t have a weight or length yet, but have it on good authority viewings of the newest addition are possible at the new shop. 

Sadly, the fundraiser concert at the Old Church on the Hill scheduled for June 15 has been postponed. Stay tuned for future dates!

All the rain we’ve had over the last little while has been perfect for getting in a little reading. We stopped into the Billings Public Library to check out what new books and board games have been added lately. The (fabulous) librarian recommended a book on Japanese warriors; it was a bit long, so I asked if she could just samurais it for me. 

Speaking of the library, the board is planning to spruce the place up a bit with a coat of paint on the walls. Anyone wanting to volunteer a few hours over the July long weekend packing up books, priming, painting, or unpacking books, drop a line to the (very friendly) librarian at 282-2944 or billingslibrary@vianet.ca.

We called the cafe this afternoon to Czech in and see what was on the menu. Jean was out of breath when she answered the phone; she said, “Iran all the way from the back room!” It turns out today’s special was Turkey, and that the Greece was already in the pan heating. Let me tell you, we made a point to Russia home as soon as we were able to Finnish our work. If we hadn’t been able Togo to dinner at our favourite cafe, we were Ghana be mad! Of course, Riverside is also open now, so we wouldn’t have gone Hungary.

The annual blackfly doubles tournament that was originally scheduled for May 18 has been rescheduled for this Saturday, June 1. Hosted by the Manitoulin Tennis Club in M’Chigeeng (who are celebrating the GRAND OPENING of the newly-painted courts at the high school), this recreational tournament is open to players of all abilities. Saturday, June 1, from 10:00am - 12:30pm (rain date: Sunday, June 2). Contact Chris at 705 968-0404 for more information or check out Manitoulin Tennis Club on Facebook.

Question for our loyal readers: what do you know about Australia? Is the architecture there Koala-ty? A few years ago we went to Pisa and to be honest, I think the guidebook was a bit lenient in it’s descriptions of the buildings. 

The Old Mill Heritage Centre is also now open for the season! Check out their website at http://www.kagawongmuseum.ca/ for information on hours, the latest exhibits, and even a live webcam!

Keep an eye on the flower boxes around town as volunteer garden club members, known as  the ‘Late Bloomers’ are flexing their green thumbs and sprucing up the neighbourhood. 

Uh oh. Looking back over the column, it’s clear we’ve managed to Sudan it again. We feel a bit Laosy about it, but at least we didn’t take our friend up on his offer. He wanted Tibet us that we couldn’t get through a column without puns.Our regular readers won’t be terribly shocked or Nepalled at how this one turned out. Have a great week!

May 24, 2019

With all the wildlife out and about lately, Team Fergmeijer was inspired to watch some nature television. We just watched a documentary about beavers the other night. It was the best dam show we’ve ever seen!

Did you miss our Haiku-and-Slogan special last week? It may not have come through in the printing, so be sure to check out Team Fergmeijer’s blog for the post in all its poetic glory! Visit https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com for a complete archive of our silliness.

Inspired by the haiku and slogan contests, here is a fusion of both, submitted to us by HappyCheekyCherrySweetiePie17:

A place to call home;

Ev’ryone loves Billings! And,

No freshwater sharks.

Have a haiku YOU would like to submit for possible display in Kagawong this summer? Contact Sharon Alkenbrack or Diane Larocque, or send your submission(s) to Billings Economic Development, Box 150 Kagawong, ON, P0P 1J0. Submissions have to be received by May 31st. 

Have you heard? The Old Church on the Hill (formerly St. Paul’s) has a brand new stage! Come check it out Saturday, June 15 at the first of the summer’s concerts. A number of local favourites will be performing, as well as a new voice or two - you won’t want to miss it! Proceeds from the show will go toward restoring the venue as a community performance space.

It’s trade fair time! In order to properly refer to the trade fair, Team Fergmeijer had to brush up on our vocabulary skills. We weren’t sure if the trade fair was ‘semi-annual’ ‘biannual’ or ‘biennial’. After exhaustive research, it would appear that no one really agrees which word would work best (figures), so we just picked the one we like best (typical). Therefore, we can confidently say we are very much looking forward to the biennial trade fair being held in NEMI this weekend.

Happy birthday to everybody’s favourite Zumba maven, Casey B who is strutting, swaying, and salsa-ing her way to her 29th birthday this weekend.  

Like the flowers that bloom in the spring, many Kagawong businesses have blossomed this week and are now open for the season! Take a stroll through the village and say hello to all the friendly faces ready to show you their latest creations and arrivals.

The Old Mill Heritage Centre is also now open for the season! Check out their website at http://www.kagawongmuseum.ca/ for information on hours, the latest exhibits, and even a live webcam!

Keep an eye on the flower boxes around town as volunteer garden club members, known as  the ‘Late Bloomers’ are flexing their green thumbs and sprucing up the neighbourhood. 

After supper last night, Team Fergmeijer was asked if we could clear the table. We needed a running start, but we did it! Have a great week!

May 17, 2019

In honour of the EDC’s haiku contest, we present to you Team Fergmeijer’s Kagawong column, the all haiku edition (with some slogan ideas for the re-branding committee thrown in for variety)!

Billings EDC

Has a new haiku contest.

Here is the first one!

Whatever you’re into, get into Billings.

Walkers for water,

Raised two grand for clean water,

And made us all proud.

Happiness is Billings-shaped.

Want to play tennis?

The Black Fly tourney is Sat.

Everyone welcome!

Four out of five dentists recommend Billings.

Who needs a stop light

When we have 15 workers

Holding new stop signs?

Billings keeps going, and going, and going…

Have a birthday soon?

Tell us, and we’ll celebrate

Your twenty-ninth year.

Got Billings?

Businesses moving

Means more opportunities

For wellness and art.

Easy, breezy, beautiful, Billings.

Come out for euchre

At the monthly tournament

At the Park Centre.

Billings. It’s what’s for dinner.

Kagawongians!

Check out local businesses

Trade fair fun ahead!

Billings. Because you’re worth it.

Haikus make us smile;

Thank you for indulging us.

Until next time, friends.

May 10, 2019

Last weekend, volunteers from across the Island came together to do a huge sweep for trash and litter along local roadways. Billings had no shortage of spring cleaning super heroes with groups and individuals working throughout the township. It’s unfortunate that it is necessary to clean up so much trash thoughtlessly dumped throughout the winter, but we so appreciate the efforts to put our Island to rights again. 

We wanted to include a joke about all the construction starting this week, but we’re still working on it. 

Tomorrow (Saturday, May 11), watch for water walkers walking east & west with willfulness while bearing witness to the wonder that is clean water. Along highway 540 from Misery Bay and from Wiikwemkoong, the water walkers will be making their way from both ends of the Island, meeting in the middle in M’Chigeeng. Join this youth-driven event by contacting Manitoulin Secondary School, or donate to support their efforts. Just $25 gives someone clean water for life! 

Downtown Kagawong was a little more chocolatey this past week - between that and the daffodils springing up, we know summer’s on its way!

Team Fergmeijer was out for a drink one night last week, and a man came up to us and was all, “Outside?…. Under?... To?.... Around?... Over?” We just could not believe that he was so brazenly trying to preposition us like that!  

KAGAWONG WATER SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT: The annual valve/hydrant and water main flushing took place yesterday and today. Any discolouration in your tap water is not a health concern, and water can be cleared by running taps. If more information is required, contact the Municipal Office at 705 282-2611.

Now that the snow is (finally) off the courts, the Blackfly Doubles Tennis Tournament is back! Hosted by the Manitoulin Tennis Club in M’Chigeeng (who are celebrating the GRAND OPENING of the newly-painted courts at the high school), this recreational tournament is open to players of all abilities. Saturday, May 18, from 9:30am - 12:30pm (rain date: Sunday, May 11). Contact Chris at 705 968-0404 for more information or check out Manitoulin Tennis Club on Facebook.

Don’t forget about the Kagawong Fitness Centre to banish those winter blahs. After all, your eyebrows are the only thing you can get in shape without exercise.

Looking for Council meeting minutes, or committees of council meeting minutes? Look no further than the Billings Township webpage: http://billingstwp.ca , which we’re sure stands for Billings: That Water’s Perfect! 

Never underestimate a Kagawongian with a deck of cards! The Billings Recreation Committee is looking for 2 volunteers to organize & manage the Kagawong Euchre Tournament held every third Wednesday of the month. Please contact Phyllis at 705-692-7248 if interested.

A while ago, a Fergmeijer fan sent us a letter asking what to do about his wife’s habit of making fun of his lack of a sense of direction. We did our best to give him some guidance, but last we heard he’d had enough of it. He just packed his bags and right. When he was telling us about it, we tried to cheer him up. We reminded him that things could be worse - he could be stuck underground in a hole full of water. We don’t know if it helped him at all, but he knows we meant well. Have a great week!

May 3, 2019

Happy Sprin…. uh, Wint…, umm…. Sprinter? Wiing? Here’s hoping Mother Nature makes up her mind soon.

If you are (or know of) any teenagers still looking for a summer job, the township has a position open with the museum. Resumes can be submitted to the township office. 

Itching to get out of the house and enjoy the warmer weather? Come out for the Billings Township community clean-up and bottle drive! Meet Sunday, May 5 at 1:30pm at the Park Centre. Don’t forget your rubber boots and work gloves, as well as a mug or water bottle... there will be a free BBQ and lemonade for all participants. Let’s make our community shine!

Flower box adoptees - we will be meeting at the Anglican church on Saturday at 2pm to go over the locations of available flower boxes and to review the requirements for adoption. Don’t worry, no background checks! If you haven’t signed up already, drop us a line (kagawong@live.ca) or contact Linda Ferguson (aka Mama Fergmeijer), or just show up on Saturday. In a related note, shout out to Meg at the town office who has been incredibly helpful to getting the information put together.

 

This Sunday, at the high school, the Classic School of Dance presents... the timeless tale Beauty and the Beast. Admission $10. Children 12 and under free. All proceeds to the Classic School of Dance Student Fund. 

KAGAWONG WATER SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT: The annual valve/hydrant and water main flushing will take place May 9-10, 2019. Any discolouration in your tap water is not a health concern, and water can be cleared by running taps. If more information is required, contact the Municipal Office at 705 282-2611.

Looking for Council meeting minutes, or committees of council meeting minutes? Look no further than the Billings Township webpage: http://billingstwp.ca , which we’re sure stands for Billings: Trails, Waterfall, Poutine. 

Never underestimate a Kagawongian with a deck of cards! The Billings Recreation Committee is looking for 2 volunteers to organize & manage the Kagawong Euchre Tournament held every third Wednesday of the month. Please contact Phyllis at 705-692-7248 if interested.

Expecting Star Wars puns ahead of May the Fourth, were you? Are we getting that predictable? Can’t we just let Qui-Gons be Qui-Gons? Anyway, we tried opening our PDF archive of jokes but had trouble. Tech support told us that Adobe Wan Kenobi was our only hope. We were waiting to be connected to tech support for a long time, but thankfully our favourite Jedi rock band was playing while we were on hold: Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi. Last, but not least, a friendly reminder that taxes should be filed by now. If you haven’t filed your taxes yet, get on it! And don’t be like the Tuskens who cheat on their taxes. They always single file to hide their numbers.  Have a great week!