January 29, 2025

We freely admit that Team Fergmeijer is made up of space nerds. Seriously, space is a vacuum, but it definitely doesn’t suck. It’s safe to say we love just about every aspect of the galaxy around us. Except maybe for the Dog Star. It’s not fun at all. Much too Sirius. 

Whether you’re looking for something for your sweetheart, or just looking to treat yourself - the Kagawong Valentine’s Market has just what you need! Stop in the toasty warm Kagawong Park Centre on Saturday, February 1 from 10am - 3pm and support local artisans and vendors while getting your market fix. 

Deepen your connection with your body with the free Inclusive Mindful Movement classes at the Park Centre Monday January 20 to March 3rd (8-9pm). Come out for a gentle, joyful movement practice focused on helping you find more ease in your movement and alignment. No dance experience necessary. Space is limited. Pre-registration is encouraged. www.bodystoriesdance.com (647-213-1497). 

Speaking of outer space, we’re pretty confident that there is other intelligent life out there. We figure they haven’t come to our galaxy because they read the reviews (1 star). 

Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like. Either way, we want to wish a very happy 29th birthday to Doug C and an equally happy, not-even-close-to-29th birthday to Gabe H. 

With special thanks to the volunteers that maintain the ice, we’re happy to announce that the Pickledome… er… Kagawong River Complex is open for skating! Community members are reminded to take the nets off the ice after using them and to turn off the lights before leaving. Otherwise, enjoy the ice!

This year is the 100th anniversary of the Old Mill in Kagawong and the museum board is planning a variety of ceremonial events and is looking for additional historical information. If you know of anyone who could help or who worked at the mill/hydro plant, the museum board would be grateful for any information. You can email oldmillheritage@billingstwp.ca

How do astronauts start fights in space? Comet me bro!

Is your new year's resolution to stay up on local politics? You can attend Billings township council meetings  virtually! You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly for the Zoom link. 

Looking to while away the winter days? Catch up on all Team Fergmeijer’s past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

Did you know that the density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath? The downside to doing this experiment at home is that it leaves a massive ring around the tub (though all it takes to remove the ring is a little Comet). Have a great week!

January 22, 2025

Please forgive us if this week’s column is not quite up to par. We’ve had a difficult couple of weeks. You see, we are pretty sure our house is haunted by a chicken. A fowl spirit. Possibly a poultrygeist! We plan to call an eggsorcist to help it cross over to the other side. 

Deepen your connection with your body with the free Inclusive Mindful Movement classes at the Park Centre Monday January 20 to March 3rd (8-9pm). Come out for a gentle, joyful movement practice focused on helping you find more ease in your movement and alignment. No dance experience necessary. Space is limited. Pre-registration is encouraged. www.bodystoriesdance.com (647-213-1497). 

We wanted to give a shout out to a former Kagawongian who is living it up in Calgary these days. We are sure you already know this, but we’ll say it anyway just in case you need the reminder: both age and glasses of wine should never, under any circumstances, be counted. Happy Birthday, Susie!

Fantastic news for winter sport enthusiasts - the Pickledome…er… Kagawong River Complex is open for skating. Community members are reminded to take the nets off the ice after using them and to turn off the lights before leaving. Otherwise, enjoy the ice!

This year is the 100th anniversary of the Old Mill in Kagawong and the museum board is planning a variety of ceremonial events and is looking for additional historical information.  If you know of anyone who could help or worked at the mill/hydro plant, the museum board would be grateful for any information. You can email oldmillheritage@billingstwp.ca

A friend was telling us she wasn’t able to put a chicken coop in her backyard because of a new bylaw in her town. We told her to make sure it had 4 doors. Then it would be a sedan. 

New year, new puzzles! Billings Library will host another free puzzle swap this Saturday, January 25th (10am-1pm). Bring a puzzle, take a puzzle (or 5). No puzzles to bring? No problem. There are always lots to go around! 

Is your new year's resolution to stay up on local politics? You can attend Billings township council meetings  virtually! You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly for the Zoom link. 

Calling all dancing queens and super troupers - save the date! Manitoulin Secondary School is presenting the jukebox musical Mamma Mia! February 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd. Ticket information will be available soon.

Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

With everything going on at home, here’s hoping we have the hendurance to get through another week.

January 15, 2025

As Team Fergmeijer was writing this week’s column we got a little peckish; we were down right Hungary. We had a deadline to meet and no time to waste, but we decided we would Russian to the kitchen and Czech the fridge to see if there was any Turkey. We found it, but sadly, the holiday leftovers were covered with a fine coating of Greece. Although we thought we Canada bit of Chile to it, we finally had to admit there is just Norway we could eat it at all. Although we’re Havana good time with these puns and Congo on and on with them, it’s probably best if we go ahead and Finnish this intro, now.

We are saddened to share that local village greeter Sadie crossed the Rainbow Bridge recently. She was a Team Fergmeijer superfan (well, a superfan of everyone, really), and she will be missed.

Deepen your connection with your body with the free Inclusive Mindful Movement classes at the Park Centre Monday January 20 to March 3rd (8-9pm). Come out for a gentle, joyful movement practice focused on helping you find more ease in your movement and alignment. No dance experience necessary. Space is limited. Pre-registration is encouraged. www.bodystoriesdance.com (647-213-1497). 

We thought we’d try our hand at a slightly more poetic birthday shoutout as we wish Vera C a very happy 29th birthday: 

Under time's still hand,

a bright flame flickers softly—

your words light the years.

International Puzzle Day is at the end of January. To celebrate, the library will host another free puzzle swap on Saturday, January 25th. Bring a puzzle, take a puzzle (or 5). No puzzles to bring? No problem. There are always lots to go around!

Want to stay up on local politics, but don’t relish venturing out in the cold and dark? Not a problem! Billings township council meetings are available by remote Zoom link. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Calling all dancing queens and super troupers - save the date! Manitoulin Secondary School is presenting the jukebox musical Mamma Mia! February 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd. Ticket information will be available soon.

Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

Just a quick note of appreciation for our fans. Sometimes we think “Oman, this column is Ghana be of no interest to the readers” but every week, you guys are like, ‘give us Samoa!” Have a great week!

January 8, 2025

Happy New Year! We hope you rang in 2025 in style, whether that was all dolled up at a swank party ‘til 2am, or in your jim jams and in bed by 9pm. This is the time of year when many folks make out their resolutions - firm, occasionally optimistic, decisions to do (or not do) something. We managed to keep ALL our resolutions from last year… in a journal, on our bookshelf. For this year, we initially planned to commit to giving up all of our vices and bad habits at the beginning of the new year, but then remembered that nobody likes a quitter. So, instead, at the beginning of this new year, we each made a pact we would lose 10 pounds. Only 15 more to go!

A huge shoutout to Andy P for getting the rink at the Kagawong River Complex up and running just in time for a Christmas skate! Sadly, at time of writing, the rink has since closed due to the warmer weather. Keep an eye on the Kagawong Outdoor Recreation Facility facebook page for the latest ice conditions. 

Applications for the NEW Senior Advisory Committee (SAC) have been extended! Applications for the committee are due to the township (email tmills@billingstwp.ca) by Friday, January 10th at 12 noon. See the township website at http://billingstwp.ca for more information.

Even though Christmas has passed and we’re not singing about it any more, the weather outside can still be frightful. Don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Body Stories winter dance registration is open and there is still space available for the Kagawong sessions. Sessions run Mondays from January 20th to March 3rd with classes for the very young right up to adults. Check out their website for more information (www.bodystoriesdance.com). 

The newspaper may have taken a break over the holidays, but Team Fergmeijer never takes a break from celebrating birthdays (especially if there’s cake involved)! A very happy almost 29th birthday to Harrison N. He’s not quite there, but almost! And belated 29th birthday wishes go out to Melanie H, our Mainland Mom, Jen W, Chris T, and Kirby P. You all are looking really good for 29! In completely unrelated news, we seem to have misplaced our eyeglasses recently. 

Library and landfill are back to their regular hours: the library is open Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4pm to 7pm and Saturdays from 10am to 1pm. The landfill is open Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2pm to 6pm, Saturdays from 1pm to 4pm, and Sundays from 10am to 4pm. 

International Puzzle Day is at the end of January. To celebrate, the library will host another free puzzle swap on Saturday, January 25th. Bring a puzzle, take a puzzle (or 5). No puzzles to bring? No problem. There are always lots to go around!

Calling all dancing queens and super troupers - save the date! Manitoulin Secondary School is presenting the jukebox musical Mamma Mia! February 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd. Ticket information to be available soon.

Most resolutions are something that goes in one year and out the other, but if your new year’s resolution is to up your pun game, you can learn right from the self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer! You can catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

We did have one more resolution from last year that we weren’t able to keep - that of becoming rich by prospecting for gold. It just didn’t pan out. Have a great week!