Welcome to the archive of Team Fergmeijer's Kagawong news column in The Manitoulin West Recorder and The Manitoulin Expositor.

Monday, December 23, 2024

Holiday Special 2024


'Twas the night before Christmas and we're working through,

We almost forgot that the Spoz column was due!

So sit back and enjoy, as we recall the past year!

To this fun rhyming meter, we’ll mostly adhere.


The puzzle swap beckoned in January’s chill,

Where jigsaws were traded with laughter and skill​.

New Sic Sox bins waiting for textiles to mend,

Ensuring old fabrics could find a new friend.


From the Winterfest cheers to the Crane Challenge coos,

Activities in Kagawong always seem so profuse. 

And the northern lights danced over Bridal Veil’s crest,

A cosmic ballet that left all of us blessed.


As the weather got warmer we welcomed the spring, 

Celebrating with a tradefair on outdoors and angling.

The township celebrated with a new tractor acquisition

Kagawong is now ready for any weather condition!


New lines for the water! New bridges for cars!

The many benefits to living in Billings are ours.

New township website! New signs at the falls!

Now if only they’d reopen the Kagawong Mall…


The farmers’ market was lively this summer, no doubt. 

With fresh produce, crafts, and even takeout.  

It’s a gem through and through, and has gained much renown. 

Ethel deserves all the credit for how it's grown since lockdown. 


Throughout the year the festivals came. 

Jabbawong and NorthWords keep upping their game. 

The Elemental Festival followed in stride, 

Exploring the land with artistic pride.


“The rink needs a new name!” Council cried, ‘right quick!’

But they overruled ‘Pickledome,’ (which was our first pick). 

‘The Kagawong River Complex’ has style aesthetics, 

It’s the township’s new home for year-round athletics. 


And who should appear in the Park Centre hall,

But Steve Paikin himself—oh, the thrill of it all!

History night was another one to remember,

New banners gave deeper meaning to 11th November.


A new CAO brought an outlook unique, 

She keeps the township running at a level that’s peak. 

Youth Rangers explored and learned from the land,

Evening markets brought the crowds with purchases in-hand.


Spring brought rains, to farmers’ delight. 

Summer brought tourists, we guess that’s alright.

The autumn brought with it a return to schoolery, 

And throughout, we continued our usual punfoolery.


Now Kagawong rests, under blankets of snow, 

A village that thrives in ways we’ll never outgrow.  

From festivals, markets, and tales we hold tight, 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!


Wednesday, December 18, 2024

December 18, 2024

‘Tis the ho-ho-holidays and Team Fergmeijer just held our first dinner party last week. We have been wanting to host for a long time, and finally decided that there’s noel time like the present. We arranged it all in the St. Nick of time since we just missed the bad weather. On the night, the roads were right as rein(deer) for people driving over. Planning it was fun, though we spent a lot of time mulling over whether to have spiced wine or apple cider with dinner. In the end we just had both! There was Christmas Karaoke after dinner and we went with ‘Hold Me Claus-er, Tinsel Dancer.’ At the time, we thought we sleighed it, but in hindsight, we wonder if that mulled wine might have given us some false confidence. 

There will be a planned power outage this Friday, December 20th, for most of the island from 2am until 6am. Be sure to pile on the blankets that night!


With the holidays upon us, keep in mind Billings Township will have special holiday hours for many of its services. The Township office will be closed December 25th through January 1st, reopening January 2nd. Both the landfill and library will be closed Tuesday, December 24th, Thursday, December 26th and Tuesday, December 31st, but otherwise open their usual days and times. Checkout the township website for more information: http://billingstwp.ca


With the winter weather seemingly settling in on us, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 


If you tuned in to the last council meeting, you already know that council has approved the installation of a new bulk water access and payment system. Users soon won’t need a key, as they can pay at the new meter that should be up and running sometime in 2025. 


Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Brad Graham who passed away last week. He was larger than life and left a lasting impression on the village. 


Body Stories winter dance registration is open and there is still space available for the Kagawong sessions. Sessions run Mondays from January 20th to March 3rd with classes for the very young right up to adults. Check out their website for more information (www.bodystoriesdance.com). 


We are sending Happy Birthday wishes to Christine L-M who turns 29 this week. Some words of advice from your (slightly) older friends: aging is inevitable. Maturity, on the other hand, is totally optional. Cheers to being forever young!


Recent Manitoulin Secondary graduates and their families are welcome to attend the annual Awards Night on Thursday, December 19th at 7pm to celebrate those graduates attending post-secondary institutions. MSS is thankful to local businesses and individuals who contribute to over $60,000 in scholarship and grant money for students. 


Remember that AWESOME pun we had in our column that one time? Catch up on all of Team Fergmeijer’s past columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/


This holiday season we hope you get all you want and myrrh. Have a great week!


Wednesday, December 11, 2024

December 11, 2024

Team Fergmeijer hit the big city recently. We had to run a few errands, but also made plans to meet up with a friend. He texted us to meet at the vinyl shop in 45, but we actually made it in 33 (which was record speed). Afterwards, we wandered around the mall for a bit, though we didn’t stick around long. After all, once you’ve seen one shopping plaza, you’ve seen the mall. We only really spent time at the electronics store where there was a clearance sale sign that said, “Television for $1, volume stuck on full.” We knew that was a deal we just couldn’t turn down! 

Holidays are just around the corner! While you’re out running errands, keep in mind the Billings Township will have special holiday hours for many of its services. The Township office will be closed December 25th through January 1st, reopening January 2nd. Both the landfill and library will be closed Tuesday, December 24th, Thursday, December 26th and Tuesday, December 31st, but otherwise open their usual days and times. Checkout the township website for more information: http://billingstwp.ca


With the winter weather seemingly settling in on us, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 


The township is now accepting applications for those interested in joining the NEW Senior's Advisory Committee (SAC) If you are interested in this opportunity, check out the town website for more information and submit your application by December 11th (today!), 2024 at 4:00pm to tmills@billingstwp.ca


Party vibes and happy birthday energy go out to Katherine T who is turning 29 and to Hailey F who is not quite 29 yet. If the thought of another birthday is getting you down, remember - you aren’t old, you are just well-seasoned. We hope you have an extra spicy day!


The library wishes to thank everyone who took part in the annual silent auction fundraiser. It raised just over $4000 to support the library! A gentle reminder that auction winners can pick up their items by December 10th at the library (Tues & Thurs 4-7pm; Sat 10-1pm). Contact the library directly if you need to arrange a pickup outside of regular library hours. Any items not paid for/picked up by the deadline will be offered to the next highest bidder. 


Remember that AWESOME pun we had in our column that one time? Catch up on all of Team Fergmeijer’s past columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/


While we were out shopping, we decided to practice our haggling skills. We asked one salesperson if they could give us a better price since the item had today’s date on it. She told us we could either buy it at full price or put the newspaper back on the pile. Have a great week!


Wednesday, December 4, 2024

December 4, 2024

Every once in a while, Team Fergmeijer gets questions from our loyal readers and by far the most popular one is “where do you get your jokes from?” The answer is that we are always on the lookout for the most groan-inspiring puns and bad jokes. When we come across one, we make a note of it and file it away in our well-organized online dad-a-base (for all our “dad” jokes, you see). It lives there until we find just the right column to include it in. 

With the winter weather seemingly settling in on us, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 


The township is now accepting applications for those interested in joining the NEW Senior's Advisory Committee (SAC) If you are interested in this opportunity, check out the town website for more information and submit your application by December 11th, 2024 at 4:00pm to tmills@billingstwp.ca


All the snowfall this week really makes it feel like winter for most people. For us, it is the switch to Winter landfill hours. You can now access the landfill Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2pm-6pm, Saturdays from 1pm-4pm and Sundays from 10am-4pm.


Another question Team Fergmeijer often gets asked is “if you could go anywhere (other than Billings) where would you go?” We’ve actually been discussing taking a trip to Rome this year! Of course, we can’t travel in the winter for work reasons, and while the spring and summer of Rome is appealing, it is peak tourist season and we don’t relish the experience of all those crowds. It probably goes without saying that we really don’t want to experience the fall of Rome either. 


Any other questions you want answered by your intrepid reporters? Email us at fergmeijer@gmail.com


The Island Singers - which includes many Kagawongians - are hosting their holiday concerts this weekend! Join them on Saturday, December 7 at 3pm at the United Church in Little Current, and Sunday, December 8 at 3pm at Freshwater Church in Mindemoya. Tickets for either concert are $10 and are available at the door.


Got birthdays? Want to make someone you love feel special? When you send their info to us to include in the column, you can ensure they will get that warm feeling inside. Could be joy, could be embarrassment, but the point is, we can make it happen! 


The library wishes to thank everyone who took part in the annual silent auction fundraiser, and to remind you that auction winners can pick up their items by December 10th at the library (Tues & Thurs 4-7pm; Sat 10-1pm). Contact the library directly if you need to arrange a pickup outside of regular library hours. Any items not paid for/picked up by the deadline will be offered to the next highest bidder. 


‘Tis the season to appreciate family. Not many people know that one of our parents was born a conjoined twin, though they were separated when they were kids. It’s true! Of all our uncles, our favourite is on our father's side, once removed. Have a great week!