October 25, 2023

Well, we had a good run - an entire year of not missing a week’s paper, but it had to end sometime. Apologies for the absence of the Team Fergmeijer column from last week’s Expositor. Turns out that not only is our short-term memory horrible, so is our short-term memory. Of course, the good thing about a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once!

It’s going to be a great Halloween… we can feel it in our bones! If you’re out trick-or-treating, or just planning on going out for a gourd time, Billings Township has you covered. The Parks, Recreation and Wellness Committee are planning to hand out treats at the Park Centre! Little ghouls and goblins are welcome to stop by the Fire Hall and the Library, too.

Shortly after Halloween will be the annual Christmas in Kagawong market. Save the date - the market this year will be November 17th and 18th. And don’t forget about the Billings Library’s annual silent auction November 23rd to 26th. Join the auction Facebook group (FB.com/groups/libraryauction) to see some sneak peeks of the items that will be up for grabs and to be ready to bid when the auction starts!

A very happy 29th birthday goes out to Kagawongians Ken F and Rachel B, while a very happy not-quite-29th birthday goes out to Meranda V. Don’t let aging get you down. It’s WAY too hard to get back up again. 

All aboard!! The Manitoulin Secondary School Musical Theatre Program invites you to “The Emerald Heist'' dinner theatre experience on November 10th and 11th. The killer has covered their tracks well, and the truth is hidden in train sight. Join your fellow passengers in the dining car as you enjoy a delicious three-course dinner and work to unravel whodunit. Work together to keep the evening from going off the rails while you determine the criminal’s loco-motive. Email fergusj@rainbowschools.ca for more information, or purchase your tickets online at www.ticketspice.com/emeraldheist

The next Island Wide Waste Management Meeting is coming up on Tuesday, November 14th at 7:00pm, at the Kagawong Park Centre. Everyone is welcome.

What are you doing on December 2nd? Laughing with family, friends and neighbours at the annual Kagawong Community Christmas Concert, of course! There’s speculation going around about the return of the chicken skit, but with the price of groceries being what they are, we can’t be sure if it’s true or just a rumour. 

With the weather starting to turn, there’s snow place to be like the rink! If you are interested in volunteering to help maintain the  community rink, please contact Tiana at the town office (tmills@billingstwp.ca). 

The good thing about a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once! Have a great week!

October 11, 2023

If you have been on the river trail in the last week or two, you know that it is alive with colour… and the slight funk of fish that comes with the annual salmon run. We emailed the salmon to ask why the early run this year, but they have yet to re-spawn-d to us. On a recent visit to the falls, we saw a salmon wearing a suit and tie. We aren’t sure why it was so dressed up, but it looked very sofishticated. In other local fauna news, it would appear that the KGB has headed out of town for the Thanksgiving long weekend. Word on the street is that they are headed down to Stratford to take in a show. They have been dying to see Shakespeare’s classic “Much Ado About Stuffing.”  

The Old Mill Road bridge was closed briefly last week for emergency repairs. The bridge deck was repaired in good time and as of this writing, it is now open for local traffic with a reduced weight limit of 7 tonnes. 

Interested in getting involved in the community? There’s still time to join a committee! There are currently vacancies on the Climate Action Committee, the Lake Kagawong Resource Committee, the Parks, Recreation, and Wellness Committee, and the library board. Contact tmills@billingstwp.ca for more info. On that note, the next town council meeting will be Tuesday, October 17th at 7pm at the Kagawong Park Centre. Agenda packages will be available in advance on the township website (www.billingstwp.ca).

Here’s some local news we won’t sugarcoat: The Parks, Recreation and Wellness Committee are planning to hand out treats on Halloween! Stay tuned for more details. As grateful as we are, Team Fergmeijer will pass on the candy. We’re trying to maintain our ghoulish figures.

Shortly after Halloween will be the annual Christmas in Kagawong market. Save the date - the market this year will be November 17th and 18th. And don’t forget about the Billings Library’s annual silent auction November 23rd to 26th. More details on both coming soon!

Head’s up! The municipal office will be closed on Monday, October 23rd. 

With the weather starting to turn, there’s snow place to be like the rink! If you are interested in volunteering to help maintain the  community rink, please contact Tiana at the town office (tmills@billingstwp.ca). 

Have you noticed? Ice skating is really just walking in cursive.

A good friend remembers your birthday but not your age. We don’t really do either of those things, but happy birthday anyway, Jef with one f!

All aboard!! The Manitoulin Secondary School Musical Theatre Program invites you to “The Emerald Heist'' dinner theatre experience on November 10th and 11th. The killer has covered their tracks well, and the truth is hidden in train sight. Join your fellow passengers in the dining car as you enjoy a delicious three-course dinner and work to unravel whodunit. Work together to keep the evening from going off the rails while you determine the criminal’s loco-motive. Email bauery@rainbowschools.ca for more information, or purchase your tickets online at www.ticketspice.com/emerald-heist

While there’s nothing like a good whodunit, we here at Team Fergmeijer will always prefer a good whopunit. Have a great week!

October 4, 2023

Did you know? Today, October 4th, is both World Animal Day, as well as Random Acts of Poetry Day! In honour of this auspicious pairing of celebratory days, Team Fergmeijer is pleased to present an ode to the Kagawong Gobble Brigade: 

Ah, to be free like a Billings turkey, 

And onto people’s lawns we could lurkey.

We’d set mischief to brew,

And strut around with bright hue.

Though in traffic, we’d be a bit jerky. 

Betty B has been heard bragging about her new great-granddaughter who arrived last week. She was overheard saying that it doesn’t feel odd to be a great-grandmother so much as to realize her son is a grandfather. Congratulations to the whole family!

Congratulations to local Chris T on winning the Manitoulin Tennis Club singles tournament, held on September 17 at the MSS tennis courts. Chris joins local doubles champions Keith M and Mike M (no relation) in taking top prize at tournaments this year. Tennis continues every Wednesday evening and Sunday morning at Manitoulin Secondary School. All are welcome. 

They say good things come in threes: Musketeers, neapolitan ice cream, MacBeth witches, Stooges, blind mice, Lord of the Rings books, billy goats gruff, and let’s not forget the birthdays of Kim, Keith and Dennis! These three amigos all turned 29 on the same day in September. Jamie F is also celebrating, although he doesn’t turn 29 until this weekend.  Many happy returns to you all!

Interested in getting involved in the community? Join a committee! There are currently vacancies on the Climate Action Committee, the Lake Kagawong Resource Committee, the Parks, Recreation, and Wellness Committee, and the library board. Contact tmills@billingstwp.ca for more info. 

Yeehaw! This fall, head on over to the Kagawong Park Centre for line dancing Wednesday evenings. Contact joebeth.arnold@gmail.com for more information. 

Body Stories Dance Instruction is offering dance classes at the Park Centre in Kagawong this fall, for ages five through adult. Check out their fall schedule for more information, or to register: https://www.bodystoriesdance.com/schedule#schedule

Save the date and start working your way onto the “nice” list - the annual Christmas in Kagawong market is just around the corner on November 17th and 18th! Following shortly after is the library’s annual silent auction November 23rd to 26th. More details on both coming soon.

Looking for that special gift to get the person who has everything? How about an embarrassing mention in our column?! Email us (fergmeijer@gmail.com) and let us know when your brother’s birthday is, or your parents’ anniversary, or your neighbour’s graduation. We’ll do our best to make them regret their relationship with you. 

As we head into the long weekend, we hope you have the baste Thanksgiving ever. Have a great week!