Holiday Special 2021

Twas the night before Christmas

and Team Fergmeijer's equipped

to share Christmas greetings

with a wide readership!

There’s one major event

that can’t be o’rstated - 

Manitoulin’s two papers

are now amalgamated.

Our new audience is huge,

in print and online;

And now ALL of the Island

is age twenty-nine!       

But despite all the fame(!)

we haven’t forgotten our roots;

Here’s a recap of news

from close to Bridal Veil chutes:  

The town’s roads were refurbished

with sidewalks and curbs; 

It looks so darn sharp

that we don’t have the words!

All year long there were businesses

and homes changing hands;

We welcomed many new neighbours

to these fair lands.

The rink got spruced up

with new boards and more light,

Allowing Kagawongians

to go skating day and night!!

The market was double

what we’d come to expect;

50+ summer vendors

with tables bedecked.

With artwork and crafts

and goodies innumerable, 

The crowds were so big,

it was barely maneuverable!

Not everything this year

was rosy and bright; 

We lost a good man,

who always tried to do right. 

We all have an Aus story

to reminisce. 

His is a presence

that’ll forever be missed. 

And of course COVID continued,

so our year comprised

Of many more masks

and hands sanitized. 

But as 2021

comes to a close

With all of its highs

and all of its lows, 

Rest assured, we remain,

your faithful scrivener.

Merry Christmas to all,

from Team Fergmeijer! 

December 15, 2021

Team Fergmeijer was out for a walk around town this weekend, and when we passed Fran and Dave’s they were standing out on their porch yelling, “EVERY GOOD BOY DESERVES FUDGE!” and “MY VERY EDUCATED MOTHER JUST SERVED US NINE PIZZAS!” It was very strange, but we didn’t think too much about it until we saw Willa on the corner, and she was yelling, “PLEASE EXCUSE MY DEAR AUNT SALLY!” and, “SUPERMAN HELPS EVERY ONE!” It was at that moment we realized the awful truth…they had caught the mnemonic plague!

This year’s digital Christmas concert is just around the corner and can always use more contributors. Break out your cell phone and film yourself telling a joke or singing a song. Do a short skit or show off your talent on the keyboard. Share the video with the organizers at kagawong@live.ca by Friday and you can be included in the concert that streams on December 18th at 7pm! You can view the concert via Zoom by visiting  tinyurl.com/KagChristmas2021 

The Lake Kagawong Resource Committee, and the Parks, Recreation, and Wellness Committee are looking for new members. If you are interested in joining one of these committees, or have any questions, visit the Billings Township website (http://billingstwp.ca). Applications are due to Tiana Mills by email at tmills@billingstwp.ca. 

We were thinking of buying Batman slippers this Christmas, but then remembered that he’s a billionaire and can afford to buy his own.

Best wishes to Hailey F who is celebrating her birthday this week. She’s not quite 29, but you wouldn’t know it based on her attitude. It’s one of our favourite things about her. Also celebrating this week is Christine L-M who turns 29 this weekend. As always, we wish you joy, peace, and cows that stay on the right side of the fencing.  

Take note! The township office will be closed from Friday, December 24th at noon until Tuesday, January 4th at 8:30am. The landfill will have regular hours with the exception of being closed on Sunday, December 26th. The library will be closed Saturday December 25th and Saturday January 1st. 

How much does Santa pay to park the sleigh? Nothing, it's on the house.

No amount of rain, thunder or lightning could put a damper on the Country Home and Business Tour this past weekend. It was so much fun to tour through the different locations and there are so many last-minute Christmas gifts right here in town!

Team Fergmeijer had a really good ice pun for you, but it slipped our mind. Regardless, the township is looking for volunteers to help maintain the rink! Volunteering would include maintenance checks of the rink and snow removal. For more information, please email tmills@billingstwp.ca, or call (705) 282-2611 x225.

Need a last minute Christmas gift for someone (or for yourself - no judgement). The Billings history book, “How It All Began” is back in stock and available. To get a copy, stop in at the library or contact billingslibrary@vianet.ca to pick one up today!  

 

Don’t let the holiday stress get to you. One way to reduce your overall anxiety is keeping tropical fish at home. It can have a calming effect on the brain due to all the indoor fins. Have a great week!

December 8, 2021

Winter seems to be here to stay now, and your favourite journalists (and we use that term loosely) have decided to freeze the day with some winter puns. This weekend, one half of Team Fergmeijer went on a date. She was hoping for a whirlwind winter romance; a real ‘love at frost sight’ sort of thing. It started promising - her fella started the afternoon with sledding on Graham’s hill, but it was all downhill from there. He was going to take her skating in the next town over, but decided not to when he found out that instead of being free that day, the arena was charging $1.00. What a cheap skate! He refused to dip into his slush fund to get them out on the rink. The evening ended with a performance of Hamilton on Ice. It was not great. She was especially disappointed in the actor who played Aaron Brrr. When she heard about the details of the date, our Manitoulin Mom said that it would be better to just end it now. Her candor was shocking, but she just said, “I calls ‘em like icy ‘em.”

Kagawong must be high on the Nice List, as we got an early visit from Santa last week! Thank you to the Parks, Recreation and Wellness Committee for coordinating with the North Pole to get Santa here to meet with children and hand out treat bags. 

Don’t have all your holiday shopping done yet? Not to fear! The Kagawong Christmas Country Home & Business Tour on Saturday, December 11 will be a great opportunity to visit local businesses and artisans to cross those last few items off your list. Check out the ad in this paper or the Kagawong Facebook page to see a complete list of participating vendors. 

Team Fergmeijer went to a local coffee shop, where they told us our balance was outstanding. We didn’t realise that they had watched us skate! They likely saw us at the local rink… which is still looking for volunteers! Volunteering would include maintenance checks of the rink and snow removal. For more information, please email tmills@billingstwp.ca, or call (705) 282-2611 x225.

Are you interested in assisting Manitoulin communities in climate change mitigation? The Township of Billings and the Municipality of Central Manitoulin are looking to hire a joint Climate Change Implementation Coordinator. Visit https://billingstwp.ca/employment-opportunities/ for more information; applications are due to Kathy McDonald by email (kmcdonald@billingstwp.ca) no later than Friday, December 10 at noon.

Did you know that Frosty has a standing appointment with his sports physiotherapist this time of year? He plays a lot of sports, but is constantly injuring himself because he refuses to warm up first.

 

Former Kagawongian Rob Buie flew through another year last week. We still aren’t sure how birthdays work outside of Billings, but are assuming his deep Kagawongian roots mean Rob is turning 29. Happy birthday!

 

This year’s digital Christmas concert is just around the corner and can always use more contributors. Break out your cell phone and film yourself telling a joke or singing a song. Do a short skit or show off your talent on the keyboard. Share the video with the organizers at kagawong@live.ca and you can be included in the concert that streams on December 18th! 

Billings history book, “How It All Began” is back in stock and would make a great Christmas gift. To get your copy, stop in at the library or contact billingslibrary@vianet.ca to pick one up today!  

 

After all is sled and done, here’s hoping all these winter puns haven’t left you totally frostrated. Have a great week!

December 1, 2021

We’ve always felt that we were quite open and approachable, but a friend just raindeer-ed on our parade. She pointed out that both members of Team Fergmeijer suffer from RGF (resting grinch face). But wait, there’s myrrh! She also said that the RGF makes it look like we’re up to snow good! We were like, sleigh what?! How rude-olph of her! 

The Friends of Billings Library silent auction wrapped up on Sunday night. With 67 items donated by our always generous community, over $3500 was raised to support the library! Thank you to everyone who participated! Items can be picked up at the library (18 Upper Street) during regular library hours (Tues. & Thurs. 4-7; Sat 10-1). Payment can be made by cash or cheque.  

Can you hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring ting tingling too? Santa Claus is coming to town! The town has arranged a Meet & Greet with Santa on Friday, December 3, from 5-6:30pm. The location will be announced soon, so keep an eye on the Township of Billings Facebook page… and don’t forget your letter for Santa!

One half of Team Fergmeijer went on a first date to the outdoor rink by the Park Centre once, but got asked to leave. Apparently, it’s not the right place to break the ice. But if YOU might be interested in helping out with the rink, the Parks, Recreation, and Wellness Committee is looking for volunteers! Volunteering would include maintenance checks of the rink and snow removal. For more information, please email tmills@billingstwp.ca, or call (705) 282-2611 x225.

Are you interested in assisting Manitoulin communities in climate change mitigation? The Township of Billings and the Municipality of Central Manitoulin are looking to hire a joint Climate Change Implementation Coordinator. Visit https://billingstwp.ca/employment-opportunities/ for more information; applications are due to Kathy McDonald by email (kmcdonald@billingstwp.ca) no later than Friday, December 10 at noon.

If a blacksmith hammered your autograph out of red hot steel, did they just forge your signature?

Happy 29th birthday to Team Fergmeijer superfan, Laurie Z. We’ve heard Laurie needs glasses to read her birthday cards. Wine glasses. Have a great day!

Cue the music! You will get a sentimental feeling, when you hear voices singing… at the annual Kagawong Christmas Concert! This year’s digital concert is just around the corner and can always use more contributors. Break out your cell phone and film yourself telling a joke or singing a song. Do a short skit or show off your talent on the keyboard. Share the video with the organizers at kagawong@live.ca and you can be included in the concert that streams on December 18th! 

The library and museum are pleased to see the latest printing of the updated How It All Began book has been flying off the shelves. To get your copy, stop in at the library or contact billingslibrary@vianet.ca to make arrangements.  

 

The other day, Team Fergmeijer got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused. Now we’re in hot water with the Japanese mafia. Have a great week!