November 30, 2018

December 5th is International Ninja Day! In order to celebrate, Team Fergmeijer is going to see how many ninja puns we can silently and stealthily sneak into this column. As President Roosevelt once said, “we have nothing to fear but fear itself. And ninjas.”

The last euchre tournament of the year was last week. First place went to Pat & Betty, second place to Eva & Cathy, and third to Lil & Diane. Ted & Ruth had the most loners, while Candy & Phyllis went home with the low score prize. The door prize went to Doris. Euchre Night in Kagawong is on hiatus for the next couple of months: the regular Wednesday night games won’t be continued in 2019, but regular tournaments will run every third Wednesday starting on January 16th.

We don’t seem to have any birthdays to mention this week, so here’s just some food for thought: if you mail a ninja a birthday card, will it come back marked “address not found”?

Have a vision for Kagawong? Be sure to drop in to the public information session on the Main Street reconstruction and the waterfront development, Wednesday, December 5 from 6:30pm to 8:30pm at the Park Centre. Concept designs will be available for viewing, and township engineering consultants will be on hand to answer your questions and receive feedback.

Do you suppose ninjas shop at the stealth food store?

Coming up on Saturday, December 8, is the Manitoulin Community Choir’s annual Song and Cider concert at the Park Centre. Stay tuned for more details!

Mark Friday, December 14th on your calendars: Kagawong’s (in)famous Community Christmas Concert is back again this year! If you are interested in performing, just drop a line to Kagawong@live.ca or send a message on the Kagawong Facebook page. As always, talent is not a requirement for any performers. Santa has already sent in his RSVP!

What did the ninja bring to the Christmas party? Ninjabread cookies.

Just because it’s cold doesn’t mean Fido can’t get some exercise! The Kagawong off-leash dog park is still open throughout the winter! And if it’s you that’s looking to keep fit, and not your pooch: Plucky, the Kagawong Fitness Centre’s mascot, would like to remind you that a membership gets you 24/7 access to a gym full of equipment! Contact Sharon Jackson for more information.

We saved the worst ninja joke for last. Probably best to look away.

This is your chance to avoid it entirely…

Seriously, it’s not worth it …

Just jump over to the Prov column right now …

Well, you had your chance...

What does a ninja’s fart sound like? It’s silent, but deadly.

Have a good week!

November 23, 2018

There’s a nasty flu going around. We’ve heard of quite a few people who have been sick the last few days, and not the kind of sick that you put in air quotes because it’s hunting season. We hope those affected recover soon.

Christmas in Kagawong was a great success last weekend. Not only was the turkey stuffed, but so were the diners after an amazing turkey supper Friday night! The Park Centre was equally stuffed with vendors and shoppers all weekend long. Thank you to everyone who came out and made Kagawong such a happenin’ place on a cold and snowy weekend.

Congratulations to Orland and Andrew on taking first and second place in the annual Kagawong Scarecrow Hunt! Just like scarecrows, these two young men are outstanding in their field.

Happy birthday to Nora U as she turns 29 this week. Honourary Kagawongian Dwyne C is celebrating this week, too. We’re still waiting for confirmation on exactly how birthdays work out west, but we’re going to assume he will be turning 29 there as well. Rumour has it we owe Mel C some belated birthday wishes, as she turned 29 last week. If anyone knows how to live it up at 29, it’s Mel!

Speaking of birthdays, what do you get a hunter for his birthday? A birthday pheasant.

The Manitoulin Island Transit Feasibility study is coming to a community near you to determine how local transit service can be provided, what it would cost and how it could be funded. Three public meetings have been scheduled to provide members of the public with an opportunity to provide input on what priorities are to meet local needs today and in the future. Meetings are Gore Bay: Monday November 26 from 2:30pm – 4:00pm, Mindemoya: Monday November 26 from 5:30pm – 7:00pm, Little Current: Tuesday November 27 from 2:30pm – 4:00pm.Contact 1-705-561-7684  or gdumas@marchofdimes.ca for more information.

Euchre is on hiatus for the next couple of months. The regular Wednesday night games won’t be continued in 2019, but regular tournaments will run starting on January 16th. Last week’s scores are: High Score - Doris Tustion; Most Loners - Elva Lloyd; Low Score - Brad Parkinson; Door Prize - Bill Traynor.

Coming up on Saturday, December 8, is the Manitoulin Community Choir’s annual Song and Cider concert at the Park Centre. Stay tuned for more details!

Mark Friday December 14th on your calendars: Kagawong’s (in)famous Community Christmas Concert is back again this year! If you are interested in performing, just drop a line to Kagawong@live.ca or send a message on the Kagawong Facebook page. As always, talent is not a requirement for any performers.

The Old Mill Heritage Centre museum is now closed for season. But fear not! They will open again in time for the Victoria Day long weekend. Follow them on their Facebook page for updates.

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer but misses five feet to the right. The Chemist takes a shot at the deer, too and misses five feet to the left. The statistician shouts, “We got it!” Have a great week!

November 16, 2018

Have you ever had that moment when you slip on the ice, fall down with your iPhone in your pocket, and hear a crack, and pray that it was your leg? Oh, uh, no, we haven’t either...

Christmas in Kagawong is this weekend!! November 16 - 18th, be sure to stop in at the Park Centre. Each day there will be vendors upstairs, while downstairs is the Friends of the Billings Library silent auction. On Friday night come out for the annual turkey dinner ($16 per person). On Saturday, in addition to checking out any vendors you missed the day before and upping your bid at the silent auction, you can checkout the luncheon put on by the museum board. On Sunday you will have one last chance at the auction, and kids can come out for crafts and a kid-friendly Christmas store.

Everyone’s favourite midwife is turning 29 on Monday! It looks like Mary B might be in Calgary for the big day, so there’s no telling how old she’ll be while she’s there, but I’m sure she’ll be celebrating in style. A summer regular, Dave T, is also celebrating his 29th birthday this week. Many happy returns to both of you!

There was a wonderful turnout for the Kagawong Remembrance Day service on Sunday. Kudos to the museum board for putting on another poignant and respectful ceremony honouring veterans. St. John's in Kagawong rang the Bells of Peace at sundown on Remembrance Day, marking 100 years since the end of World War I. We shall not forget.

Come out to the Park Centre and join the fun at Euchre! The next tournament is November 21. Regular Wednesday night games won’t start up again until April, but the 2019 tournament season will kick off again on January 16th.  Last week’s results are: High Score - Fred Pickard, Most Loners - Mike Arbour, Low Score - Wilma Wright, Door Prize - Kal Merrilees.

Kagawong’s famous (or should we say infamous?) Community Christmas Concert is back again this year! The Park Centre is booked for the second week in December. Stay tuned here for more details! If you are interested in performing, just drop a line to Kagawong@live.ca or send a message on the Kagawong Facebook page. As always, talent is not a requirement for any performers.

The weather this week has been snow laughing matter. We were waiting for the bus the other day in a snowstorm and tried to break the ice with the lady next to us with a simple, “Ice to meet you,” but no luck. She just gave us the cold shoulder. We were on our way to the ski hill for a little fun and relaxation, and the trip started out alright, but it wasn’t long before it all started to go downhill. We thought we were going to use the crazy carpets and GTs to slide down the hill, but they only allow skiing. We felt totally mi-sled. Then, one half of Team Fergmeijer wanted to stop and get matching tattoos of Frosty on their stomachs. The other half of the team refused to get the abdominal snowman though, so we finally left. After all, as fun as trips like that can be, there’s just snow place like home.  

November 9, 2018

Here at Team Fergmeijer, we’ve decided that Friday is our second favourite word. Our first favourite is…. Food. Why, what did you think we were going to say?

In honour of Guy Fawkes Day and the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot of 1605, Kagawong’s most British resident, Mike C (aka MBB) and the lovely Susie D hosted a dignified evening of fine wine, elegent guests, and intellectually stimulating discussions of current geopolitics. Throughout the evening, guests enjoyed a delicious array of gastronomic delights...Okay, a bunch of people got together at Mike and Susie’s, drank booze, and burned an effigy in a bonfire so big it could be seen from space. But the food part was true - Susie makes a mean chili. Remember, remember the 5th of November!

A very happy birthday goes out to Jody K who is looking fine at 29! As is former Kagawongian Margaret L. Birthdays may work differently in the West, but here in Kagawong, she's turning 29 next week.

How do you get two whales in a car? You start in England and drive west.

The Kagawong Remembrance Day Service will be Sunday, November 11th, at 11AM, at the Park Centre. Afterward, join fellow Kagawongians at a gathering at the Old Mill Heritage Centre from noon until 4pm. Stay tuned for more details next week.

Ina Swain is raising money for the Northern Ontario Families of Children with Cancer, and the Greater Sudbury Animal Shelter by selling Sudbury Professional Firefighters calendars for $20. Interested? Contact Ina at 282-3498 for more information.

Come out to the Park Centre and join the fun at Euchre! Regular play continues on Wednesday November 14, and the next tournament is November 21.

Christmas in Kagawong is November 16 - 18th at the Park Centre. Each day there will be vendors upstairs, while downstairs is the Friends of the Billings Library silent auction. On Friday night come out for the annual turkey dinner ($16 per person). On Saturday, in addition to checking out any vendors you missed the day before and upping your bid at the silent auction, you can checkout the luncheon put on by the museum board. On Sunday you will have one last chance at the auction, and kids can come out for crafts and a kid-friendly Christmas store.

One half of Team Fergmeijer had to go to the doctor the other day because they couldn’t stop signing “Green, Green Grass of Home.” The doctor claimed it was Tom Jones Syndrome. When asked if it was a common ailment, he replied, “It’s not unusual.” Have a great week!

November 2, 2018

We don’t know about you, but Team Fergmeijer had a great Hallowe’en. Our vampire costume was fangtastic! Some might have thought the skirt was a bit short, but you know what they say - if you’ve got it, haunt it! As usual, Kagawongians were unboolievably generous when handing out treats. Though we couldn’t decide witch candies to eat first, soon we were goblin up ALL the Hallowe’en goodies.

A very happy birthday goes out to Gail Los this weekend. It’s hard to believe such a tiny package has fit a whole 29 years in already! Also celebrating a big occasion is Joy who turned 29(ish) this week, too. We’re sure Barb and Susan had a blow-out party, though we’re not sure if they managed to pull off the surprise part.

Last weekend ghouls, ghosts, devils, angels and even some werewolves of London all converged on the Park Centre for the annual family Hallowe’en dance. Kids of all ages were Thriller-d to play games, indulge in snacks and to do the Monster Mash. One Zombie was overheard to say “Somebody’s Watching Me,” and the Black Magic Woman beside her replied, “Hells Bells, Living Dead Girl! That’s what you get for Running With the Devil when there’s a Bad Moon Rising.”

The Kagawong Remembrance Day Service will be Sunday, November 11th, at 11AM, at the Park Centre. Afterward, join fellow Kagawongians at a gathering at the Old Mill Heritage Centre from noon until 4pm. Stay tuned for more details next week.

Our condolences go out to Jen and Dwyne Cichon and their family on the loss of Dwyne’s father. Florian was an amazing man and a much loved father and grandfather.

Ina Swain is raising money for the Northern Ontario Families of Children with Cancer, and the Greater Sudbury Animal Shelter by selling Sudbury Professional Firefighters calendars for $20. Interested? Contact Ina at 282-3498 for more information.

Come out to the Park Centre and join the fun at Euchre! Last week’s scores were:  High Score - Fred Pickard; Most Loners - Elva Lloyd; Low Score - Jim Lanktree; Door Prize - Mike Arbour. Regular play continues on Wednesdays through to November 14, and the next tournament is November 21.

With Hallowe’en under our belt, it’s time to start thinking Christmas thoughts. Christmas in Kagawong is coming very soon! Mark November 16 - 18th on your calendar to check out the vendors or try your luck with the library silent auction.

One last piece of Hallowe’en wisdom: Hold on to a bit of your trick-or-treat candy. It’ll come in handy when you forget about Valentine’s Day! Have a great week!