January 28, 2026

We don’t always tell Dad jokes, but when we do he laughs. Behind the scenes, there are whole, entire hours of practice at telling jokes that Team Fergmeijer has put in over the last decade and a half. Over the years, we’ve learned the answer to the age old question: what is the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. 

Did you know? There are new recycling initiatives in place across the province, including here in Billings! There are lots of items now accepted at the Billings landfill for recycling that previously were not. Coffee creamer cartons? Bring it on! Shaving cream canisters? No problem! Chip bags? We won’t judge! Check out https://www.circularmaterials.ca/resident-communities/billings/ to see a full list of what can be recycled. 

Feeling nostalgic for the summer markets in Kagawong? Well, you are in luck! The annual winter market is coming your way Saturday, February 7th. Head down to the Park Centre from 10am to 3pm to check out the 

amazing vendors, and maybe pick up a last minute Valentine’s Day gift for that special someone! (Yes, we mean us). 

The Island Singers have a stellar spring season planned with guest conductor Lynn Janes to direct two pieces by Canadian composer Stephanie Martin, a variety of Canadian choral pieces rounding out the program, and instrumentalists from the Sudbury Symphony Orchestra taking part in select pieces. The choir begins rehearsals on February 23rd through to the concert the first week of June, and you can be part of it all! If you would like to join them this season, contact islandsingers1@gmail.com

A friend suggested some pig jokes for the column, but honestly, we found them fairly boar-ing. 

The Seniors Active Living committee aims to help make the township a vibrant place for seniors. They have recently launched efforts to revitalize the Old Church on the Hill as a seniors activity centre (as well as a community event centre). The journey to accomplish this has been dubbed Kagawong Commons. SAL has recently launched Kagawong Commons on Instagram and on Facebook. Get online and check them out!

Billings has kicked off the new year in style with a busy calendar of activities for seniors active living. Mondays head to the Park Centre for yoga (9am), Tuesdays there is indoor walking (10am), and Thursdays there are fitness classes (9am). Today (Wednesday Jan 28th) drop in to play Euchre starting at 6:30pm. Join any class any time, and all are free or by voluntary donation. 

At time of writing, the outdoor rink in Kagawong is open, but this can change on a daily basis. Keep up to date with the status of the rink at the Pickledome…. er…Kagawong Outdoor Recreational Facility page on Facebook. And thank you to the volunteers who maintain the rink all winter long!

Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

Fergmeijer top tip: If you find yourself failing your ethics course, trying to slip the prof a $50 bill is not the way to fix the situation. Have a great week!

January 21, 2026

Anyone else excited for the winter Olympics to start? Just a couple of weeks, and Team Fergmeijer is psyched! It always looks like everyone is having so much fun at the games - it’s clear a lot of the runners have a good time. Now, we don’t want to medal in anyone’s business, and it’s something we decided we can discus later, but we realized that you can just start calling yourself an olympic hopeful. You don’t have to fill out a form or anything. Though at the rate we hurt ourselves these days, we may be more qualified for the ow-lympics.  

Did you know? There are new recycling initiatives in place across the province, including here in Billings! There are lots of items now accepted at the Billings landfill for recycling that previously were not. Glass? Bring it on! Toothpaste tubes? No problem! Cookie dough packages? We won’t judge! Check out https://www.circularmaterials.ca/resident-communities/billings/ to see a full list of what can be recycled. 

The Seniors Active Living committee aims to help make the township a vibrant place for seniors. They have recently launched efforts to revitalize the Old Church on the Hill as a seniors activity centre (as well as a community event centre). The journey to accomplish this has been dubbed Kagawong Commons. SAL has recently launched Kagawong Commons on Instagram and on Facebook. Get online and check them out!

Billings has kicked off the new year in style with a busy calendar of activities for seniors active living. Mondays head to the Park Centre for yoga (9am), Tuesdays there is indoor walking (10am), and Thursdays there are fitness classes (9am). Wednesday Jan 28th at 6:30pm there is drop-in Euchre with refreshments. Join any class any time, and all are free or by voluntary donation. 

Winter is really letting itself be known. Don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in-person. You can find more information on the township Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

With the variable weather lately, it’s been a bumpy road… er, ice surface for the outdoor rink at the Kagawong River Complex. At time of writing, the rink is open again, but this can change on a daily basis. Keep up to date with the status of the rink at the Kagawong Outdoor Recreational Facility page on Facebook. And thank you to the volunteers who maintain the rink all winter long!

Want to set yourself up for a good workout? Then bump this onto your calendar: Join the Manitoulin Volleyball League - an intermediate/competitive league for adults (18+) Wednesdays at 6pm at Manitoulin Secondary School. Cost is $25 for the season to cover insurance and gym rental. Message Lisa Vezina-Guilbault on Facebook Messenger for more information or to register.

Happy birthday wishes go out to two uniquely fantastic women: Susie D and Jenna C. We want to relay to you our hope that you both track down some cake and dive into a day of fun on your birthdays. 

Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

The winter olympics - where winners are also lugers. Have a great week!

January 14, 2026

If we told you that we didn’t miss last week’s deadline for the column, we were taking a totally on-purpose, pre-planned, absolutely intentional break, would you believe us?

Billings has kicked off the new year in style with a busy calendar of activities for senior active living. Mondays head to the Park Centre for yoga (9am), Tuesdays there is indoor walking (10am), and Thursdays there are fitness classes (9am). Wednesday Jan 28th at 6:30pm there is drop-in Euchre with refreshments (Team Fergmeijer is especially excited at the prospect of being able to report on Euchre results here in the column again!). Join any class any time, and all are free or by voluntary donation. 

With the winter weather here to stay, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in-person. You can find more information on the township Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Team Fergmeijer has been teaching a friend’s dog to fetch tools from the workshop. He’s not perfect, but he knows the drill.

There are many birthdays to celebrate from the last few weeks (in part due to our fully by-design, deliberate and not-accidental-at-all break last week). Celebrating their big days are John F, Melanie H, Jen W-F, Chris T, Vera C, and Kirby P. An extra-special happy birthday goes out to Harrison H who celebrated his first true Billings 29th birthday earlier this month.  

The township would like to remind residents that when you clear your driveway, you should not push, shovel, snow blow, or otherwise place snow onto public roadways as it creates dangerous conditions for motorists. The municipality has regulations around this and can result in fines or other enforcement actions. Help keep everyone in the community safe this winter!

Speaking of winter, a storm blew away 25% of our roof last week. Oof.

A small technical glitch meant that only a portion of our annual Christmas review ended up in the column at the end of 2025. If you want to see that column in full, or if you want to read over all the past columns from the last 10 years, the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns can be found at http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com.

The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. The secret to Mondays is similar. Have a great week!

Holiday Special 2025

'Twas the night before Christmas - no cranes to be seen.

They'd long since flown south for pastures more green.

The village was quiet - at least for tonight -

Which gave us the chance to reflect and write.

With fellowship, fun, and music galore,

Reporting on Billings is never a chore. 

We dusted off keyboards and got right to work, 

Much like Rovi, the town’s new deputy clerk. 

We’ve reminiscing to do (and it’s mostly sincere);

To traditional rhyme schemes we’ll try to adhere. 

From spring’s first light through the salmon run’s peak,

Guided tours and stories were the talk of each week.

We marked a century of sawdust and spin,

The Old Mill stands proud with its heritage within. 

From timber and toil to the paths that now lay,

The village remembers, still proud to this day.

Spring brought a tradition both earnest and keen,

To spot (or first hear) a sandhill crane on the scene.

The times all came rolling, by phone and by word, 

With Peter still reigning, and Willa in third. 

Then came a great contest - a hullabaloo - 

For glory and bragging rights: Billing’s best coo.

Some practiced all winter, some winged it with flair,

With dignity optional, a rumpus affair.

Wednesday markets were hopping, making summer complete. 

Ethel kept it running, a logistical feat!

Locals vendors sold treasures to visitors who,

Left with full bags and a story or two.

The Sic Sox vanished, much to our grief,

No pink bins for fabrics, no textile relief.

Yet Steve Paikin’s visits brought joy through the town,

Hosting History Day with that charm so renown.

After summer markets and handmade delights,

We welcomed cool breezes and quieter nights.

For Christmas in Kagawong, the village was bright,

With Santa and crafts, and pies baked just right.

The River Complex (aka Pickledome),

Where sneakers and skates all found room to roam.

Pickleballs popped and the ice shone bright,

Volunteers kept it humming both morning and night.

Turkeys roamed Main Street, feathered and free,

Kagawong’s Gobble Brigade (unofficially);

They stopped cars by standing, they nudged bikes aside,

Kagawongians carried on, taking it all in their stride.

The town hired a helper, to keep seniors spry, 

She jump in at once with a twinkle in her eye.

Through socials and programs both lively and grand,

Folks found healthy habits and friends close at hand.

Island Singers filled the room with songs in the air,

Kagawongians among them with voices to share.

Each note lifted spirits, each song hit the mark,

And left everyone humming long after it got dark.

Five hundred columns, a feat to behold,

With tales of our town, both new and the old.

From cranes to the Pickledome, antics and delight,

We hope that our puns have kept spirits bright.

Another year older, but wiser - not likely.

If we missed your birthday, we apologize  contritely. 

To all near and far, we raise up a cheer -

May laughter and puns follow you through the new year!

December 17, 2025

Trying to get organized for Christmas has made it abundantly clear that Team Fergmeijer are adults in the same way that a tomato is a fruit. On top of this, there are a couple things making us angsty this week. For starters, someone needs to tell the locals that just because we are Canadians, “I have winter tires and heated seats” is not an acceptable pick up line. Also on the theme of romance - it occurs to us that giving someone six geese (especially a-laying and therefore in full protect-the-nest mode) is NOT a gesture of true love. Never mind seven swans! And yesterday, we saw a woman dressed up like a Christmas tree. Can you believe it?! In this day and age, someone wearing fir. 

St. John’s Anglican Church is holding its annual community Christmas eve service on December 24th. Join them at 4pm to celebrate the season with lessons and carols. 

If you are alone for the holidays or new to the area, or just looking for some comradery during the season, you can take part in a free community Christmas dinner at the Little Current United Church hall on December 25th at 1:30pm. Cole Hughson will be providing some live entertainment starting at 11am, and rides are available for those who need them! Contact the Manitoulin Expositor (705-368-2744) to reserve your spot by this Friday at noon.

With the winter weather showing all the signs that it is here to stay, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Very merry birthday wishes go out to Christine L-M and Darren H who are celebrating their 29th birthdays this week! May your birthday and Christmas presents not be combined. 

The Seniors Active Living Program will be taking a break over the winter holidays, but there’s still time to get out, join in the fun, and be social! Stop by the Park Centre Thursday December 18 at 9am for Fitness Class and the Chatter Matters Café at 10:30am. Stay tuned for new activities starting up in January!

The township would like to remind residents that when you clear your driveway, you should not push, shovel, snow blow, or otherwise place snow onto public roadways as it creates dangerous conditions for motorists. The municipality has regulations around this and can result in fines or other enforcement actions. Help keep everyone in the community safe this winter!

Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. Did we mention the puns?

Team Fergmeijer holiday top tip: The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you. Have a great week!

December 10, 2025

Team Fergmeijer went through several post secondary programs before settling on being the hard-hitting journalists we are today. We started in the humanities studying Sighchology (Dad Jokes 101 was our favourite!). Then we went to med school, but it didn’t work out too well. Our anatomy class was supposed to reassemble a human skeleton, but we hid an arm bone as a joke. No one found that humerus and we were asked to leave. What very few people know is that our nicknames in university were exactly the same: “the Love Machine”. We were just that bad at tennis. 

‘Tis the season! For anyone wanting to stay on top of school snow days, you can visit businfo.ca/delays to see school transportation delays and cancellations. They update the status by 7:00am each morning and it is the best way to find out if your bus is running or not. 

With the winter weather showing all the signs that it is here to stay, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Happy birthday to Katherine T and Peter G who hit the big 29 recently. Hailey F will be celebrating very soon, but she has a ways to go before hitting that major milestone. You may not be able to fold a fitted sheet, but otherwise we think you are all pretty cool!

The Seniors Active Living Program will be taking a break over the winter holidays, but there’s still time to get out, join in the fun, and be social! Stop by the Park Centre Thursdays, December 11 & 18 at 9am for Fitness Class, Monday, December 15 at 9am for Yoga, and the Chatter Matters Café both December 15 and December 18 at 10:30am. Stay tuned for new activities starting up in January!

Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. Did we mention the puns?

During the holiday season, take some extra care and make sure you are not saying hurtful words to one another (things like ‘let’s go for a run’ or ‘you should try kale’ for example). Have a great week!

December 3, 2025

It’s hard to believe that Christmas is just 3 weeks away! Yours truly really got caught up in the whirlwind of holiday events last year, and it can be overwhelming. This year we are opting for a quiet, unfussing Christmas. No extended family over, no expensive gifts, no elaborate meals. No need to worry about whether we got the right thing for this person or that person. Just time by ourselves with the dog, hangin’ in our little home on the mountain overlooking Whooville…wait a sec…

With the winter weather showing all the signs that it is here to stay, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Team Fergmeijer loves to celebrate birthdays with Kagawongians (current, former, adjacent, and in-spirit). Although we do spend an inordinate amount of time peering through windows and rifling through mail looking for signs of someone’s big day, it is a lot easier if you just give us a heads up. Send us your birthday info, or the info of your friends (or enemies… no judgement). We’ll give them a proper birthday shout out in the column. 

The library’s annual silent auction fundraiser was the biggest and best ever! The library board wishes to thank everyone who took part through donations and bidding. Gentle reminder that auction winners can pick up their items by December 6th at the library (Tues & Thurs 4-7pm; Sat 10-1pm).

Get the ultimate stocking stuffer for your little ones: sign them up for free books mailed right to your door! Billings families can register their children (under 5) for the Dolly Parton Imagination Library. Each month, your child will receive an age-appropriate book in the mail, at absolutely no cost to you. To take part, complete and return the registration form found on the library’s Facebook page (FB.com/kagawonglibrary), or visit the library in person for a paper copy and more information! 

The Island Singers will be performing their holiday concert on Saturday, December 6 at 3pm at the United Church in Little Current, and Sunday, December 7 at 3pm at Freshwater Church in Mindemoya. Tickets ($15) are available at the door for both concerts. 

We hope all the hunters are satisfied with the results of hunting season this year. We are not deer hunters ourselves, but we do try to stay informed about the topic. For instance, we learned that in fact, a deer’s favourite snack is not fawn-due, nor is it cookie doe. And while they will eat sour doe bread, it’s not good for them.  

Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

It was so embarrassing - we misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop. Can’t believe we lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors. Have a great week!