February 26, 2021

As the shortest month comes to an end, coffee lovers are saying goodbye to Fe-brew-ary. But with the longer days of March on the horizon, they can’t espresso how excited they are!

Speaking of coffee connoisseurs, we are sending out a whole latte love to Sandi H on her 29th birthday!

The skating rink is getting a lot of use - it’s great to see the kids (and some adults) getting out and using the facilities (in a socially distanced way, of course). Thank you to the volunteers who are going above and beyond to keep the rink in tip-top shape. It’s great to be able to walk the river trail AND skate on the rink this winter. You know what they say - variety is the ice of life!

As avid supporters of the written word in all its forms, Team Fergmeijer was so excited to hear that local artist and business owner Rachel Ball has donated to the library a copy of her new children’s book, Tamia of the Forest. Rachel illustrated the lovely and educational book, and the text is written by summer resident Jim Nies. Congratulations to both Rachel and Jim on this amazing accomplishment! 

Inspired by Rachel’s success, we are also writing a book. To make it stand out from all the other books, we’re writing it in the fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody...”

At time of writing, Manitoulin Island is still in the Orange, restricted zone. We still need to limit our close contacts to our immediate household  and to maintain responsible social distancing practices everywhere else, but there is increased access to businesses around town as well as services like the library (open to in-person browsing again!). Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and to protect the people in your bubble. 

Last week we watched an Irish dance show on tv called StreamDance. It wasn’t quite as good as Riverdance, but then, it was a tributary act. Anyway, it really got us in the mood to get our groove on! If you, too, are so hooked on dance that you need to join a two step program, how about checking out Manitoulin Zumba for some online fun and fitness? Contact Casey via Facebook (Zumba Fitness on Manitoulin Island) to arrange for the Zoom link and payment. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

Team Fergmeijer was visiting a friend’s place not long ago, and they asked if we had seen the dog bowl. We had no idea he could! Have a great week!

February 19, 2021

They say that the early bird gets the worm, but here at Team Fergmeijer, we’d rather sleep in until the pancakes are ready. At the time of writing this column, it’s Shrove Tuesday. We can’t believe we actually almost missed pancake day! Apparently, it just creped up on us. We don’t often tell pancake jokes. There’s a good reason for that… they usually fall flat. This year we decided to get into the spirit of things and actually made pancakes. Before long we had the whole house smelling of lavender. Turns out, we’d used the wrong flower. It wasn’t our fault, we were following a recipe given to us by a friend from Paris. Interesting guy. Last year, he acted as best man at the wedding of a Belgian waffle heir and Swedish pancake tycoon. He wasn’t permitted to make a speech at the reception though; they knew he’d give a French toast and didn’t think it would be worth the pain. 

Happiest of happy birthdays go out to the youngest Farquhar. She turns 29 this weekend, and her (many!) older siblings can’t quite believe how old she is getting while they don’t feel a day over… whatever age people who don’t live in Billings get to be. Many happy returns, Ruth!

The skating rink is getting a lot of use - it’s great to see the kids (and some adults) getting out and using the facilities (in a socially distanced way, of course). Thank you to the volunteers who are going above and beyond to keep the rink in tip-top shape. You may not want to consider skating as the ideal first date, though - it can be pretty hard to break the ice!

Get well wishes go out to DK, who has proven yet again he will do just about anything to get out of having to plan something for Valentine’s Day. Here’s hoping you are back on your feet soon!

Have you shared your two cents? Help the township create their Community Energy and Emissions Plan (CEEP) by visiting www.climatesurvey.ca and answering a few questions. The 10-minute survey will be used by municipal staff, leadership, and the Climate Action Committee to help prioritize actions in the CEEP. Participants who register with their email address are eligible to win one of two free composters. Have your say today! 

How did the black and white bear make pancakes for breakfast? With a pan, duh!

The province-wide stay-at-home order has been lifted and we are officially in the Orange, restricted zone. We still need to limit our close contacts to our immediate household  and to maintain responsible social distancing practices everywhere else, but there is increased access to businesses around town as well as services like the library (open to in-person browsing again!). Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. 

Going stir crazy? Have an abun-dance of energy and need an outlet? Manitoulin Zumba has gone virtual! (Does that mean it’s now called ZOOM-ba??) Contact Casey via Facebook (Zumba Fitness on Manitoulin Island) to arrange for the Zoom link and payment. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

Baamaapii to Megan at the town office. She is moving on to bigger and better things (which is saying something, considering how awesome Billings is!), but she will always be an honourary Kagawongian (with all the inherent rights, responsibilities and silliness that entails). 

Here at Team Fergmeijer, a few puns might make us numb, but math puns make us number. Have a great week!

February 12, 2021

Team Fergmeijer has always been avid readers, and with this continued stay-at-home order we’ve had plenty of time to dedicate to our second favourite hobby (the first is eating cupcakes). Recently we finished a novel about a short ballerina. It was called “The Girl With the Dragging Tutu” and we highly recommend it! We are looking forward to this Family Day long weekend to get into our next read, “The Pun Also Rises.”

Heather J (a Kagawongian from a long line of Kagawongians) celebrated her 29th birthday earlier this week. Former Kagawongian Neil L and current Kagawongian Heather S are also joining the ‘29 club’ in the next few days. Honourary Kagawongian Chase C isn’t quite 29, but he’s celebrating anyway. Happy birthday to you all! 

The skating rink is getting a lot of use - it’s great to see the kids (and some adults) getting out and using the facilities (in a socially distanced way, of course). The volunteers are going above and beyond to keep the rink in tip-top shape. Thank you!

The province-wide stay-at-home order has been extended into February. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. The township office continues to be open by appointment (705-282-2611). Council meetings have reverted back to the virtual format; anyone wishing to view the meetings live can contact mbonenfant@billingstwp.ca to get access to the Zoom meet details. The next council meeting is Tuesday Feb. 16th at 7pm. 

Going stir crazy? Have an abun-dance of energy and need an outlet? Manitoulin Zumba has gone virtual! Contact Casey via Facebook (Zumba Fitness on Manitoulin Island) to arrange for the Zoom link and payment. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

Help the township create their Community Energy and Emissions Plan (CEEP) by visiting www.climatesurvey.ca and answering a few questions. The 10-minute survey will be used by municipal staff, leadership, and the Climate Action Committee to help prioritize actions in the CEEP. Participants who register with their email address are eligible to win one of two free composters. Have your say today! 

Books, movies, and board games - oh my! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit their website (www.billings-library.com) for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist. The staff will do their best to package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

In preparation for Valentine’s day, here are some romantic sentiments to help those of you who struggle to express yourself at this time of year. We have a lot of options for all different kinds of people!

You can go the general route: ‘Are you a locksmith? Because you have the key to my heart.’

Maybe he or she is a foodie? In which case we might go with, ‘We make a great pear; will you brie mine?’ Or maybe a simple, ‘I loaf you’ or ‘you’re the one pho me.’ 

For the animal lover, perhaps try, ‘I’m very fawn’d of you, my deer. You give my life porpoise.’

A card sharp? You can’t go wrong with, ‘We’re perfectly suited to one another.’

A crafter might be susceptible to something like, ‘You’re sew special to me; wool you be mine?’

Does your sweetie love bowling? Then definitely consider, ‘You are right up my alley.’

If your partner is into lab coats and experiments, you can try, ‘We have serious chemistry together, and I sulfur when you argon. My love for you simply radiates.’

For the flower aficionado, how about, ‘I’m a succ-er for you’ or the ultimate in romantic declarations, ‘Will you take the jump from “cacti” to “cactus”?’

Have a great week!

February 5, 2021

Your friendly neighbourhood journalists have been going a bit batty in this lockdown, and we are longing for the days when we could go out and do stuff. Like last winter when we would pop over to the legion for a drink. One time, this commander walked in and just started ordering everyone around. That same night they had live entertainment, too! A musical group called ‘Duvet’ played all night; they were a cover band. 

Happy birthday to Susie H - she is celebrating her 29th trip around the sun. Remember, birthdays are good for your health - research shows that those who have more birthdays live longer. 

Bees don’t seem to have any trouble staying inside all winter. I guess staying in the hive makes sense… swarm. 

The skating rink continues to be popular. The volunteers have done a fantastic job keeping it in tip top shape and it is greatly appreciated. 

The province-wide stay-at-home order has been extended into February. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. The township office continues to be open by appointment (705-282-2611). Council meetings have reverted back to the virtual format; anyone wishing to view the meetings live can contact mbonenfant@billingstwp.ca to get access to the Zoom meet details. The next council meeting is Tuesday Feb. 16th at 7pm. 

Have you been feeling the need to move? Desperate to get your groove on? Looking to work off the last few weeks of confinement? Good news! Manitoulin Zumba has gone virtual! Contact Casey via Facebook (Zumba Fitness on Manitoulin Island) to arrange for the Zoom link and payment. 

Seems like everyone is getting into exercise these days. We saw on the news last night that Elton John had bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit. It’s a little fit bunny. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

Help the township create their Community Energy and Emissions Plan (CEEP) by visiting www.climatesurvey.ca and answering a few questions. The 10-minute survey will be used by municipal staff, leadership, and the Climate Action Committee to help prioritize actions in the CEEP. Participants who register with their email are eligible to win one of two free composters. Have your say today! 

Books, movies, and board games - oh my! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit their website (www.billings-library.com) for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist. The staff will do their best to package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

What did the french groundhog see when he woke up? His chateau. Have a great week!

January 29, 2021

This time last year, we reported on a flock of pigeons attempting to take over the KGB’s territory near Lebar Hill. Given that the KGB (Kagawong Gobble Brigade) have been spotted downtown lately, we aren’t sure if the coo d’etat was successful and the turkeys have been forced to scope out new stomping grounds, or if the pigeons were defeated, and the turkeys are just getting cocky. Either way, they will have to be cautious; the deer run a pretty tight ship in the village proper. We aren’t sure they will take the bird invasion sitting down. 

Have you been feeling the need to move? Desperate to get your groove on? Looking to work off the last few weeks of confinement? Good news! Manitoulin Zumba has gone virtual! Contact Casey via Facebook (Zumba Fitness on Manitoulin Island) to arrange for the Zoom link and payment. 

The village skating rink has been a busy place the last week or two. Thanks to Andrew, Martin, and all the volunteers that make it possible. This year especially it is a fantastic activity for the community!

In the latest installment of “Is this your first time reading the Team Fergmeijer column?” we explore how puns can brighten even the darkest days. Speaking of lightening the mood, watt would you do if you searched on Amazon for ways to light your oil lamp, only to have it say “no matches found?” Filamentary, my dear! Sooner or lighter, results are bound to appear.

The province-wide stay-at-home order has been extended into February. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

We’ve been looking for a new hobby lately, what with the extended lockdown. We were really excited about taking up fencing over the last week or two. Unfortunately, the police say we have to give it all back. Spoil sports!

The ever popular “Book-a-Book” program is back at the library! Books, movies, and board games - oh my! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit the library website (www.billings-library.com) for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist. The staff will do their best to package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

The library has also added a new item to its collection - Ontario Parks passes (courtesy of the Ontario government)! That’s right - you can sign out a pass that lets you into any Ontario provincial park for free, AND the librarian will also throw in a $5 coupon for parking! Passes can be signed out for a week at a time. Contact the library for more information. 

Happiest of happy birthdays goes out to former Kagawongian Lloyd N who turned 29 this week. No big party this year, but we know your friends are with you in spirit! Team Fergmeijer will eat at least 2 slices of cake in your honour!

With all the health and wellness references in the news these days, Team Fergmeijer can’t understand what all the fuss is about needing medical training to draw blood. All we need is a red crayon. Have a great week!

January 22, 2021

Team Fergmeijer was looking back over the pictures from New Year’s Eve 2015. It was a simpler time then, people could leave their homes and gather together in large numbers. We were really looking forward to having a good time out on the town. We even rented a limousine for the occasion. We paid $300 for it, only to find out that the fee didn’t include a driver. We still can’t believe we paid that much money and had nothing to chauffeur it. It was still a better night than this past New Year’s. One half of the team accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink and ended up waiting for 2 hours at the hospital waiting to be seen. 

We continue to be in a province-wide state of emergency, complete with stay-at-home order. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. 

Early On Child and Family Centre is offering free kid-friendly activities online, as well as tips and tricks for parents. They have family fun kits for families with children 0-6 years old. Check out www.mfresources.net or email earlyon@mfresources.net for more information. 

One upside of the extended lockdown measures taken by the province is that the ever popular “Book-a-Book” program is back at the library! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit the library website for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist of books. The staff will package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

The library has also added a new item to its collection - Ontario Parks passes (courtesy of the Ontario government)! That’s right - you can sign out a pass that lets you into any Ontario provincial park for free, AND the librarian will also throw in a $5 coupon for parking! Passes can be signed out for a week at a time. Contact the library for more information. 

Felicitations go out to birthday girls Lisa L, Susie D and Jenna C who all have birthdays over the next few days. Lisa and Jenna are turning 29 (and making it look good). Susie is out west at the moment, and we’re pretty sure there’s a 2-year time difference between Ontario and Alberta. We just can’t remember if that means Susie is 27 or 31. Either way, here’s hoping MBB treats you right!

The township has an employment opportunity for a part-time maintenance and cleaning person to service various buildings in the township. For more information visit the township website (www.billingstwp.ca) or their Facebook page (facebook.com/billingstownshipkagawong). 

With the province moving into an extended lockdown last week, there are updated Township of Billings shutdown closures/modifications: the Kagawong Fitness Centre will be closed until at least January 23rd, and the Municipal Office will be open by appointment only until at least January 25th (please call ahead: 705-282-2611).

We’ve been reading up on the natural world lately. Did you know, in the wild, falcons live to be about 13 years old. That means that all falcons alive today were born in the 21st century. You might say they are… millennial falcons. To be honest, we were focusing more on the animals and fish that live in the ocean. You see, a friend suggested that the next big trend is going to involve camping with sea creatures. He went into a lot more detail, but that’s the gist of it for all in tents and porpoises. 

If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges, let us know any time. Our door is always open. Have a great week!

January 15, 2021

With the latest announcement from our Premier, we are back in a province-wide state of emergency, complete with stay-at-home order. Please do everything you can to keep yourself healthy, and protect the people in your bubble. Remember all those people who said you would amount to nothing sitting around watching tv all day? Well, look at you now - saving the world! That said, remember that your pajamas would have you think all's right with the kingdom, but it’s a good idea to try your real pants on every few days just to be sure. 

One upside of the extended lockdown measures taken by the province is that the ever popular “Book-a-Book” program is back at the library! Although patrons cannot browse the physical library at this time, you can visit the library website for updated book lists, including new books as they are added. Contact the library (billingslibrary@vianet.ca   705-282-2944) with your wishlist of books. The staff will package them up for pickup on the next regular library day. 

Who came up with the idea to sing happy birthday when washing your hands? Now everytime we come out of the bathroom we’re craving cake. 

The township has an employment opportunity for a part-time maintenance and cleaning person to service various buildings in the township. For more information visit the township website (www.billingstwp.ca) or their Facebook page (facebook.com/billingstownshipkagawong). 

In Germany there are reports of people stocking up on sausages and cheese. They’re preparing for a wurst-kase scenario. 

With the province moving into an extended lockdown last week, there are updated Township of Billings shutdown closures/modifications: the Kagawong Fitness Centre will be closed until at least January 23rd, and the Municipal Office will be open by appointment only until at least January 25th (please call ahead: 705-282-2611).

What’s the best way to avoid touching your face during this pandemic? A glass of wine in one hand, a cupcake in the other. 

Remember that time Steve Paikin was spotted at the summer market? Or the time that musical group played at the dock? Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs do not easily contract the virus. Dogs that have been in quarantine have been released. To summarize, WHO let the dogs out. Have a great week!