Team Fergmeijer

Welcome to the archive of Team Fergmeijer's Kagawong news column in The Manitoulin West Recorder and The Manitoulin Expositor.

Wednesday, February 18, 2026

February 18, 2026

Valentine’s Day is all about the love, and this time of year, Team Fergmeijer likes to put aside our customary cynicism, pop on our rose-coloured glasses, and remind ourselves of all the wonderful things around us. The skunk that lives under our porch is so stinkin’ cute! The neighbour’s cat is pawsitively adorable, and we’ve never seen a porcupine looking quite so sharp as the one sleeping in the tree in our backyard. Stung by a bee? A hint you will soon find your honey. And while the dog could be your best fur-end, the horse will definitely be your mane squeeze. 


Thank you to all the organizers and volunteers who worked so hard to put on the annual Winterfest event here in town last weekend. It is wonderful to see so many locals, as well as those from the wider Island community out to have fun and socialize. 


The next Chatter Matters cafés are February 23rd and 26th at 10:30am at the Park Centre. Contact Mary at 705 348-2285 for more information on this free event as part of the Seniors Active Living program!


It’s week three of Short Poetry for a Short Month! Create and submit your short form piece of poetry on any topic that won’t make the Expositor editors question why they let us do this (any more than they already do), and we will print it in the column! Any short form is welcome: haiku, limerick, rhyming couplet, monostich, etc. Email your submissions to fergmeijer@gmail.com. Just one week left!


Combining some of our favourite things, Team Fergmeijer celebrated Shrove Tuesday with a serving of puncakes, and we wrote a flipping fantastic poem to mark the occasion:


Are you getting snow-weary 

This cold February?

It doesn’t really matter,

There’s plenty of fresh batter.

Hit the short stacks

Of sweet warm flapjacks,

And mop up that syrup - 

Pancakes help you cheerup!


The next Euchre for fun night is Wednesday February 25th at the park Centre. Games start at 6:30pm followed by refreshments. Rookies and solos (and presumably solo rookies!) are all welcome. While you are at it, might as well mark March 11, 25, and April 22 as Euchre nights on your calendar as well. 


Happy birthday to Suedy H and Ruth F who are both celebrating their 29th birthdays. After all these years, you’ve still got it! (Somewhere. Probably in a drawer). 


The Seniors Active Living program is also hosting a mobility yoga and meditation mini-retreat for all those aged 55+. The mini-retreat will be Saturday, February 28 from 1-4pm at the Park Centre, and will feature mobility yoga, refreshments, and a meditation. Participants are asked to bring a yoga mat, water bottle, blanket and pillow. Cost is $20. Contact SLM5@outlook.com or 705 348-2285 to register!


Need an excuse to break out the knitting needles or crochet hook? Billings Library’s Fiber Arts Fundraiser is here for you! Visit their website (bit.ly/fiberfundraiser) and pick one of dozens of small, quick and cute projects, and donate them to the library to be sold at the summer market on Wednesdays.


Don’t worry if you didn’t have a valentine’s on Valentine’s Day. You probably didn’t have a groundhog on groundhog day, either. Have a great week!

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

February 11, 2026

Short poetry for a Short Month continues! Create and submit your short form piece of poetry on any topic that won’t make the Expositor editors blush, and we will print it in the column! Any short form is welcome: haiku, limerick, rhyming couplet, monostich (we had to look that one up), etc. Email your submissions to fergmeijer@gmail.com. Here’s an example of a monostich: 

Kagawong Winterfest glows where bonfires crackle, maple taffy steams on snow, sleds fly, and the whole community gathers to turn cold into joy. 


Winterfest is just around the corner! Organized by the Parks, Recreation and Wellness Committee, February 16th is sure to be a happenin’ day in Kagawong. Details still to come, though we’ve heard rumours of maple taffy and a bonfire (though really, you had us at taffy). More details coming soon!


Looks like we aren’t the only ones who feel February is for poetry. Bittersweet Tea Co is holding a Tea and Poetry evening on February 19th from 6-8pm. Contact the shop directly for more information. Does that make us trendsetters? We prefer the term vibe-makers!


Thank you to everyone who brought a burst of warmth to the Park Centre last weekend for the annual winter market! 


Don’t fear the skunk! The next Euchre for fun night is Wednesday February 25th at the park Centre. Games start at 6:30pm followed by refreshments. Rookies and solos (and presumably solo rookies!) are all welcome. While you are at it, might as well mark March 11, 25, and April 22 as Euchre nights on your calendar as well. 


The Seniors Active Living program is also hosting a mobility yoga and meditation mini-retreat for all those aged 55+. The mini-retreat will be Saturday, February 28 from 1-4pm at the Park Centre, and will feature mobility yoga, refreshments, and a meditation. Participants are asked to bring a yoga mat, water bottle, blanket and pillow. Cost is $20. Contact SLM5@outlook.com or 705 348-2285 to register!


Lace up those boots! And then take them off when you get to the Park Centre… and then lace up those shoes! Join the Seniors Active Living program for indoor walking, Tuesday afternoons from 2:00-3:30pm at the Kagawong Park Centre. Call Mary for information: 705 348-2285.


And if you’d rather glide than walk, be sure to take advantage of the Kagawong outdoor rink. With a roof to protect you from the elements, and lights so you can skate into the evening, there’s really no excuse! Huge thank you to the volunteers that maintain the ice for everyone to enjoy.


If you need a reason to carve out time to knit or crochet in your busy day, Billings Library’s Fiber Arts Fundraiser is a great excuse! Visit their website (bit.ly/fiberfundraiser) and pick one of dozens of small, quick and cute projects, donate them to the library sometime between now and August to be sold at the Wednesday markets. Nothing says perfect winter weekend like settling in by the fire (or tv, no judgement) with your knitting or crocheting. Who is going to give you a hard time about it when it’s for such a great cause?


Going with the short poems theme, here’s our happy birthday wishes in haiku form!

Twenty-nine again—

Neil, Heather, Chris insist

candles lie, not cake


The sap might not be flowing quite yet, but maple syrup season is just around the corner! To celebrate, the first (hopefully annual) Manitoulin Maple Syrup Festival is coming to Kagawong on March 28th. It sounds like it will be a pretty sweet day, with activities, vendors, and of course, food. Vendor applications are now open for those selling maple-inspired products. Visit https://manitoulinculinarytourism.ca/maple-syrup-festival-main-page for more information, to register for special events, or to apply to be a vendor.


We bought a second hand time machine at a thrift shop next Sunday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore. Have a great week!


Wednesday, February 4, 2026

February 4, 2026

It’s February, and because if something was funny for us once, we are going to keep doing it forever, we are pleased to ring in the 5th annual Short Poems for a Short Month challenge! It’s an easy concept (it has to be to hold our attention): create and submit your short form piece of poetry on any topic that won’t get us fired, and we will print it in the column! Any short form is welcome: haiku, limerick, rhyming couplet, hay(na)ku (we had to look that one up), etc. Email your submissions to fergmeijer@gmail.com. Here’s an example: 

The Kuku Hut used to augment it, 

And when empty, you might circumvent it,

But the building’s now free,

One could say it’s turnkey.

Need space? Well now you can rent it!


(Seriously, contact the Township office if you’d like to rent out the space at 156 Main Street, Kagawong.)


The annual winter market is this weekend! Saturday, February 7th come down to the Park Centre from 10am to 3pm to check out the amazing vendors. 


On January 23rd, Billings Township hosted a Volunteer Appreciation Celebration for the many volunteers within the community. From committee members to ice-maintainers, from the fire department to those who put our summer market on the map, we are grateful to you all! 


Looking for a great excuse to cozy up this winter with a hot drink and your knitting or crocheting? Billings Library’s Fiber Arts Fundraiser to the rescue! They have posted dozens of small projects at a variety of ability levels on the fundraising website (access it via the library’s Facebook page). They invite members of the public to make up these quick and cute items, donate them to the library sometime between now and August, and the library will sell them at their fundraising table at the Kagawong market. It’s a great way to support the library AND whittle down your scrap yarn stash. You know, so it makes total sense to buy more yarn. 


Got the blues? Put on your running shoes! Billings has a busy calendar of activities for seniors active living. Mondays head to the Park Centre for yoga (9am), Tuesdays there is indoor walking (10am), and Thursdays there are fitness classes (9am). Join any class any time, and all are free or by voluntary donation. 


The sap might not be flowing quite yet, but maple syrup season is just around the corner! To celebrate, the first (hopefully annual) Manitoulin Maple Syrup Festival is coming to Kagawong on March 28th. It sounds like it will be a pretty sweet day, with activities, vendors, and of course, food. Vendor applications are now open for those selling maple-inspired products. Visit https://manitoulinculinarytourism.ca/maple-syrup-festival-main-page for more information, to register for special events, or to apply to be a vendor.


Did you know? There are new recycling initiatives in place across the province, including here in Billings! There are lots of items now accepted at the Billings landfill for recycling that previously were not. Egg cartons? Bring it on! Foam packaging? No problem! Ice cream cartons? We won’t judge! Check out https://www.circularmaterials.ca/resident-communities/billings/ to see a full list of what can be recycled. 


The Island Singers have a stellar spring season planned with guest conductor Lynn Janes to direct two pieces by Canadian composer Stephanie Martin, a variety of Canadian choral pieces rounding out the program, and instrumentalists from the Sudbury Symphony Orchestra taking part in select pieces. The choir begins rehearsals on February 23rd through to the concert the first week of June, and you can be part of it all! If you would like to join them this season, contact islandsingers1@gmail.com


Chocolate cake tastes best with coffee. 

Coffee is best with breakfast. 

Thus chocolate cake is the best breakfast.

We don’t make the rules. 


Have a great week!



Wednesday, January 28, 2026

January 28, 2026

We don’t always tell Dad jokes, but when we do he laughs. Behind the scenes, there are whole, entire hours of practice at telling jokes that Team Fergmeijer has put in over the last decade and a half. Over the years, we’ve learned the answer to the age old question: what is the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. 

Did you know? There are new recycling initiatives in place across the province, including here in Billings! There are lots of items now accepted at the Billings landfill for recycling that previously were not. Coffee creamer cartons? Bring it on! Shaving cream canisters? No problem! Chip bags? We won’t judge! Check out https://www.circularmaterials.ca/resident-communities/billings/ to see a full list of what can be recycled. 


Feeling nostalgic for the summer markets in Kagawong? Well, you are in luck! The annual winter market is coming your way Saturday, February 7th. Head down to the Park Centre from 10am to 3pm to check out the 

amazing vendors, and maybe pick up a last minute Valentine’s Day gift for that special someone! (Yes, we mean us). 


The Island Singers have a stellar spring season planned with guest conductor Lynn Janes to direct two pieces by Canadian composer Stephanie Martin, a variety of Canadian choral pieces rounding out the program, and instrumentalists from the Sudbury Symphony Orchestra taking part in select pieces. The choir begins rehearsals on February 23rd through to the concert the first week of June, and you can be part of it all! If you would like to join them this season, contact islandsingers1@gmail.com


A friend suggested some pig jokes for the column, but honestly, we found them fairly boar-ing. 


The Seniors Active Living committee aims to help make the township a vibrant place for seniors. They have recently launched efforts to revitalize the Old Church on the Hill as a seniors activity centre (as well as a community event centre). The journey to accomplish this has been dubbed Kagawong Commons. SAL has recently launched Kagawong Commons on Instagram and on Facebook. Get online and check them out!


Billings has kicked off the new year in style with a busy calendar of activities for seniors active living. Mondays head to the Park Centre for yoga (9am), Tuesdays there is indoor walking (10am), and Thursdays there are fitness classes (9am). Today (Wednesday Jan 28th) drop in to play Euchre starting at 6:30pm. Join any class any time, and all are free or by voluntary donation. 


At time of writing, the outdoor rink in Kagawong is open, but this can change on a daily basis. Keep up to date with the status of the rink at the Pickledome…. er…Kagawong Outdoor Recreational Facility page on Facebook. And thank you to the volunteers who maintain the rink all winter long!


Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/


Fergmeijer top tip: If you find yourself failing your ethics course, trying to slip the prof a $50 bill is not the way to fix the situation. Have a great week!

Wednesday, January 21, 2026

January 21, 2026

Anyone else excited for the winter Olympics to start? Just a couple of weeks, and Team Fergmeijer is psyched! It always looks like everyone is having so much fun at the games - it’s clear a lot of the runners have a good time. Now, we don’t want to medal in anyone’s business, and it’s something we decided we can discus later, but we realized that you can just start calling yourself an olympic hopeful. You don’t have to fill out a form or anything. Though at the rate we hurt ourselves these days, we may be more qualified for the ow-lympics.  

Did you know? There are new recycling initiatives in place across the province, including here in Billings! There are lots of items now accepted at the Billings landfill for recycling that previously were not. Glass? Bring it on! Toothpaste tubes? No problem! Cookie dough packages? We won’t judge! Check out https://www.circularmaterials.ca/resident-communities/billings/ to see a full list of what can be recycled. 


The Seniors Active Living committee aims to help make the township a vibrant place for seniors. They have recently launched efforts to revitalize the Old Church on the Hill as a seniors activity centre (as well as a community event centre). The journey to accomplish this has been dubbed Kagawong Commons. SAL has recently launched Kagawong Commons on Instagram and on Facebook. Get online and check them out!


Billings has kicked off the new year in style with a busy calendar of activities for seniors active living. Mondays head to the Park Centre for yoga (9am), Tuesdays there is indoor walking (10am), and Thursdays there are fitness classes (9am). Wednesday Jan 28th at 6:30pm there is drop-in Euchre with refreshments. Join any class any time, and all are free or by voluntary donation. 


Winter is really letting itself be known. Don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in-person. You can find more information on the township Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 


With the variable weather lately, it’s been a bumpy road… er, ice surface for the outdoor rink at the Kagawong River Complex. At time of writing, the rink is open again, but this can change on a daily basis. Keep up to date with the status of the rink at the Kagawong Outdoor Recreational Facility page on Facebook. And thank you to the volunteers who maintain the rink all winter long!


Want to set yourself up for a good workout? Then bump this onto your calendar: Join the Manitoulin Volleyball League - an intermediate/competitive league for adults (18+) Wednesdays at 6pm at Manitoulin Secondary School. Cost is $25 for the season to cover insurance and gym rental. Message Lisa Vezina-Guilbault on Facebook Messenger for more information or to register.


Happy birthday wishes go out to two uniquely fantastic women: Susie D and Jenna C. We want to relay to you our hope that you both track down some cake and dive into a day of fun on your birthdays. 


Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/


The winter olympics - where winners are also lugers. Have a great week!


Wednesday, January 14, 2026

January 14, 2026

If we told you that we didn’t miss last week’s deadline for the column, we were taking a totally on-purpose, pre-planned, absolutely intentional break, would you believe us?

Billings has kicked off the new year in style with a busy calendar of activities for senior active living. Mondays head to the Park Centre for yoga (9am), Tuesdays there is indoor walking (10am), and Thursdays there are fitness classes (9am). Wednesday Jan 28th at 6:30pm there is drop-in Euchre with refreshments (Team Fergmeijer is especially excited at the prospect of being able to report on Euchre results here in the column again!). Join any class any time, and all are free or by voluntary donation. 


With the winter weather here to stay, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in-person. You can find more information on the township Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 


Team Fergmeijer has been teaching a friend’s dog to fetch tools from the workshop. He’s not perfect, but he knows the drill.


There are many birthdays to celebrate from the last few weeks (in part due to our fully by-design, deliberate and not-accidental-at-all break last week). Celebrating their big days are John F, Melanie H, Jen W-F, Chris T, Vera C, and Kirby P. An extra-special happy birthday goes out to Harrison H who celebrated his first true Billings 29th birthday earlier this month.  


The township would like to remind residents that when you clear your driveway, you should not push, shovel, snow blow, or otherwise place snow onto public roadways as it creates dangerous conditions for motorists. The municipality has regulations around this and can result in fines or other enforcement actions. Help keep everyone in the community safe this winter!


Speaking of winter, a storm blew away 25% of our roof last week. Oof.


A small technical glitch meant that only a portion of our annual Christmas review ended up in the column at the end of 2025. If you want to see that column in full, or if you want to read over all the past columns from the last 10 years, the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns can be found at http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com.


The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. The secret to Mondays is similar. Have a great week!


Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Holiday Special 2025


'Twas the night before Christmas - no cranes to be seen.

They'd long since flown south for pastures more green.

The village was quiet - at least for tonight -

Which gave us the chance to reflect and write.


With fellowship, fun, and music galore,

Reporting on Billings is never a chore. 

We dusted off keyboards and got right to work, 

Much like Rovi, the town’s new deputy clerk. 


We’ve reminiscing to do (and it’s mostly sincere);

To traditional rhyme schemes we’ll try to adhere. 

From spring’s first light through the salmon run’s peak,

Guided tours and stories were the talk of each week.


We marked a century of sawdust and spin,

The Old Mill stands proud with its heritage within. 

From timber and toil to the paths that now lay,

The village remembers, still proud to this day.


Spring brought a tradition both earnest and keen,

To spot (or first hear) a sandhill crane on the scene.

The times all came rolling, by phone and by word, 

With Peter still reigning, and Willa in third. 


Then came a great contest - a hullabaloo - 

For glory and bragging rights: Billing’s best coo.

Some practiced all winter, some winged it with flair,

With dignity optional, a rumpus affair.


Wednesday markets were hopping, making summer complete. 

Ethel kept it running, a logistical feat!

Locals vendors sold treasures to visitors who,

Left with full bags and a story or two.


The Sic Sox vanished, much to our grief,

No pink bins for fabrics, no textile relief.

Yet Steve Paikin’s visits brought joy through the town,

Hosting History Day with that charm so renown.


After summer markets and handmade delights,

We welcomed cool breezes and quieter nights.

For Christmas in Kagawong, the village was bright,

With Santa and crafts, and pies baked just right.


The River Complex (aka Pickledome),

Where sneakers and skates all found room to roam.

Pickleballs popped and the ice shone bright,

Volunteers kept it humming both morning and night.


Turkeys roamed Main Street, feathered and free,

Kagawong’s Gobble Brigade (unofficially);

They stopped cars by standing, they nudged bikes aside,

Kagawongians carried on, taking it all in their stride.


The town hired a helper, to keep seniors spry, 

She jump in at once with a twinkle in her eye.

Through socials and programs both lively and grand,

Folks found healthy habits and friends close at hand.


Island Singers filled the room with songs in the air,

Kagawongians among them with voices to share.

Each note lifted spirits, each song hit the mark,

And left everyone humming long after it got dark.


Five hundred columns, a feat to behold,

With tales of our town, both new and the old.

From cranes to the Pickledome, antics and delight,

We hope that our puns have kept spirits bright.


Another year older, but wiser - not likely.

If we missed your birthday, we apologize  contritely. 

To all near and far, we raise up a cheer -

May laughter and puns follow you through the new year!