Team Fergmeijer

Wednesday, May 27, 2026

May 27, 2026

Team Fergmeijer loves nothing more than a spring wedding. A close friend is getting married in Paris (Oh là là!) in a couple of weeks, and we have the honour of being part of it. We are quite nervous about the speech we have to make, though. So far, we have, “Eggs, cinnamon, vanilla, bread, maple syrup, and butter…” it’s a French toast.

Thinking of running for municipal council in October? Start organizing now! Nominations for mayor, councillors, and school board trustee are officially open and the deadline to register is August 20th. Visit https://www.billingstwp.ca/townhall/elections for more information.

The township is holding a public meeting at the Park Centre on Tuesday (June 2nd) at 6:30pm for residents to have their say about the proposed changes to zoning by-laws in regards to shipping containers. The actual by-law and other supporting materials can be accessed at the township office and on the township’s website. If you can’t make the public meeting, you can still submit your feedback via the township office.

What a beauty! The Old Mill Heritage Centre’s hockey exhibit had rave reviews at their opening this past weekend. One attendee said it was over-the-glove, top shelf, “where momma keeps the peanut butter.” You can score a visit to this new exhibit weekends from 10am-5pm.

We’d like to offer our deepest condolences to the family and friends of Paul Darlaston who passed away last week. He lived a colourful life, was passionate in his convictions, and was always up for a quick (or not so quick!) chat.

The Island Singers are hosting their spring concert on Saturday, June 6th at 7pm at Manitoulin Secondary School. Don’t miss this special choral presentation, as the choir welcomes guest conductor Lynn Janes, composer Stephanie Martin, and members of the Sudbury Symphony Orchestra for “Ambe: All Are Welcome” - a celebration of Canadian music. Tickets are $20, with children 12 and under free, and are available at the door.

SAL is also offering a fun summer “Grands Day Camp” in July and August for some cross-generational fun, crafts, and skill-building! If you have grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or neighbours aged 5-12, sign up for day camps “Wilderness Ways & S’Mores” and “Creative Alley”. Contact Mary (705-348-2285) for more information or to book a spot.

Seniors can get valuable financial, legal, and safety information at Wise Futures: Sharing Safety, Estates, and Financial Knowledge, an all-day community event held at the Manitoulin Hotel & Conference Centre. Presented by the Manitoulin Legal Clinic, you can learn from experts on elder safety, estates & financial planning, advocacy supports, and community resources, visit information booths, be entered for door prizes and give-aways, and enjoy breakfast and snacks as well! Register by phone: 705-368-3333 or email: info@mlc.clcj.ca

If there are any aspiring digital entrepreneurs out there, may we humbly suggest developing a camera filter that makes the house look clean when we take pictures of our pets? We’re pretty sure it would make a killing.

Summer days are not so far away and the Billings Public Library has plans for those warmer months! Their used book sale will be held on Saturday, July 25th. Mark your calendar for this annual must-see. And that’s not all: dig out your favourite floatie - the library will also be bringing back the beach movie on Saturday August 8th. We can hardly wait!

Happy birthday to Billings councillor David H who is turning 29 this week. Not to alarm anyone, but you know you are getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you can’t stand, but the grocery store is dropping hit after hit.

Driving home last night we decided to go the long way so we could stop in to see our friend Nicholas. That’s right; we took the see Nick route. Have a great week!

Wednesday, May 20, 2026

May 20, 2026

As devoted cat-people, it has come to Team Fergmeijer’s attention that cats have a surprising number of things in common with an inkjet printer. Both tend to be moody, they spend a lot of time self-cleaning, they can be notoriously unreliable, tend to ignore requests, and regularly demand to be fed even when the container is still full.

The township is holding a public meeting at the Park Centre on Tuesday, June 2nd (6:30pm) for residents to have their say about the proposed changes to zoning by-laws in regards to shipping containers. The actual by-law and other supporting materials can be accessed at the township office and on the township’s website. If you can’t make the public meeting, you can still submit your feedback via the township office.

We were a bit sad that we couldn’t visit The Old Mill Heritage Centre for their hockey exhibit last week, but plans to open on the long weekend were iced due to construction. Like any good Canadian spring, the start has been delayed a bit — but staff assure us the exhibit is still very much in play. Staff and board members are taping their sticks, tightening their laces, and preparing for a proper faceoff with opening day this Friday!

We are wishing Erin F and Casey B both a very happy birthday this week. You know what they say, another year older, another year of convincing everyone you totally have things figured out.

Have you seen the fantastic new banners that are up around the village? Each one is a unique image from the surrounding area (courtesy of Craig Jackson). We love the new additions!

We just got a free sample of anti-gloating cream in the mail and we can’t wait to rub it in. Have a great week!

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

May 13, 2026

It is very Canadian to constantly talk about the weather, but when you live in an area that has pretty significant fluctuations in temperature and precipitation from morning to evening, nevermind from season to season, it tends to stay front of mind. Team Fergmeijer is very glad to welcome Real Spring (rather than False Spring that we had been experiencing). Spirits are high and waters are low. Finally, the local waterfront properties are once again just regular properties. Here’s hoping the only things overflowing from here on out are trophy cases, gardens and optimism.

There is still time to take part in this year’s Manitoulin Streams’ Island-Wide Garbage Cleanup! Send photos of your haul through Manitoulin Streams’ socials or via the submission form on their website (www.manitulinstreams.com). Submit by Friday (May 15th) to be in the running for Community Cleanup Award, School Cleanup Award, Business / Club Cleanup Award, or Garbage Cleanup Hero (1st, 2nd & 3rd place).

The Old Mill Heritage Centre’s season opener has been delayed until May 23rd. Plans to open on the long weekend were iced due to construction, but staff assure us it is still very much in play. They apologize for the delay but have to wait for the official greenlight before they can safely drop the puck.

Considering running for office? The next Municipal Election is coming up on Monday, October 26th (save the date!), and nominations for mayor, councillors, and school board trustee are officially open. Visit https://www.billingstwp.ca/townhall/elections for more information.

We are sending very happy birthday wishes to Kagawongian Sherri C and Kagawong wannabe Leslie M this week. Rather than getting older, we like to think of it as having elite longevity!

Time to dust off your racquets and start the spring tennis season. The Manitoulin Tennis Club is hosting their annual Black Fly tournament on Saturday, May 16 (rain date Sunday, May 17) at the MSS tennis courts. Play starts at 9am for doubles fun. No partner? No problem! Contact Chris at 705 618-7155 to register. All abilities welcome!

Are you looking for some trom-bonhomie in your life? Still carrying a torch for your high school trumpet? The Manitoulin Adult Concert Band is up and running! Drop in Wednesdays at 7pm at Manitoulin Secondary for some note-worthy fun that lets you reed-eem some of those musical skills.

Top cooking tip: The trick to not crying when you cut onions is to not form emotional attachments to them - you have to be non-shallot. Have a great week!

Wednesday, May 6, 2026

May 6, 2026

One half of Team Fergmeijer ran out of clean socks this week, so she piled them on a tray, grabbed the detergent and headed to the laundromat down the road at the bottom of a steep hill. As she was walking down the hill, she slipped and fell. The dirty socks went flying, the detergent went flying, and there she was. Sitting on the sock by the tray, watching the Tide roll away.

Happy Mother’s Day to all those mothers out there, including our own Mainland Mom and Manitoulin Mom! We very much appreciate all the love and support you have given us over the years. One might say we really hit the mother-load having you in our lives.

With the snow finally gone, it is wonderful to see the grass starting to green up. What’s not so great to see is the inevitable litter that is revealed with the snow’s retreat. Thankfully, Manitoulin Streams’ Island-Wide Garbage Cleanup is in full swing! You can take part by cleaning up any part of Manitoulin Island. Send photos of your haul through Manitoulin Streams’ socials or via the submission form on their website (www.manitulinstreams.com). Submit by May 15th to be in the running for Community Cleanup Award, School Cleanup Award, Business / Club Cleanup Award, or Garbage Cleanup Hero (1st, 2nd & 3rd place).

Considering running for office? The next Municipal Election is coming up on Monday, October 26th (save the date!), and nominations for mayor, councillors, and school board trustee are open officially open. Visit https://www.billingstwp.ca/townhall/elections for more information.

Most zoo dentists refuse to treat grizzlies without strong anesthesia first, because there is safety in numb bears.

Do you occasionally daydream about your clarinet glory years? Has your French horn been quietly waiting for its comeback tour? The Manitoulin Adult Concert Band is up and running! Drop in Wednesdays at 7pm at Manitoulin Secondary for sax-cessful evenings filled with trumpet triumphs and glock-and-roll good times.

If you or someone you love has a birthday coming up, let us know (fergmeijer@gmail.com). We’ll ‘honour’ the special occasion as only Team Fergmeijer can!

Does anyone else wish they had a reverse swear jar where we put a dollar in and it gives us a new and exciting expletive to use? Have a great week!

Wednesday, April 29, 2026

April 29, 2026

You may have gotten a notice in your mail box recently advertising the position of Post Master for Billings Township. It’s true; Michael is retiring from the post office! While we are more than pleased for Mike to take some time to kick up his heels and live it up in retirement, we are left in need of a new location for the post office. Team Fergmeijer has given it a lot of thought, and we think the natural location for the new post office is on the hill at Main Street Express. We can absolutely picture it, and the slogans pretty much write themselves: Main Street Express and drive through postal pick up; the stamp and snack shack; express eats and express post; now serving first class meals and first class mail; drive through today, delivery tomorrow; Get your parcels with your poutine! They could add the registered mail meal deal to their monthly specials, or have snail mail and escargots. When asked for a comment, local business person Jamie Ward said he was trying out new greetings: “Welcome to Main Street Express Post. Please state your order and postal code. P0P 1J-Yo!” Of course, we would also be okay with having it in the marina (Mail and Sail), or at a nearby cottage (The Stamp Camp).

At time of writing, it’s volunteer week - thank you to ALL the volunteers that make Billings Township such a great place to live! Looking to get involved? Contact the town office to learn about all the opportunities to take part.

Considering running for office? The next Municipal Election is coming up on Monday, October 26th (save the date!), and nominations for mayor, councillor, and school board trustee are open as of this Friday, May 1st. Visit https://www.billingstwp.ca/townhall/elections for more information.

Come on out to St. John’s Church in Kagawong this Saturday, May 2 at 7pm for a fundraiser for the Manitoulin Food Bank! Local musicians Cia and Bill Savage will be joined by Paul Best and Isaac Gosse for a classic rock sing-a-long. Donations and food items welcome, with all proceeds going to Manitoulin Family Resources.

Despite the high water levels lately, Team Fergmeijer is pleased to announce that Billings Township has successfully gone 182,600 consecutive days without a shark attack!

Find yourself reminiscing about playing the baritone sax in high school? Been longing to pick up that long-forgotten piccolo? Good news - the Manitoulin Adult Concert Band is now a reality! Come out Wednesdays at 7pm to the music room at Manitoulin Secondary and join a group of like-minded amateur musicians playing for flugel fun and flute-y fellowship.

We want to wish warm happy birthday wishes to Shan K this week as she is turning 29 years old. Remember, with age comes wisdom (and discounts!).

If farmer A sells apples, and farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine. Have a great week!

Wednesday, April 22, 2026

April 22, 2026

All over the Island, water has been on everyone’s minds this week. We hope everyone is safe and has been able to dry out over the last couple of days. If it feels a bit too soon for ‘fun facts’ about water, you can skip right past the rest of the intro of the column this week. It’s okay; we totally understand. After this section, the rest of the jokes are completely dry. Fair warning, the water facts start now: you all know the chemical formula for water, H2O. But what is H2O2? Hydrogen peroxide, which is not very stable, but is highly reactive. What is H2O3? It doesn’t exist. The electronic structures around hydrogen and oxygen don’t allow this molecule to form and be stable. So what is H2O4? Drinking, bathing, swimming, etc.

The Manitoulin Community Choir is welcoming spring with a song! Come see them perform Friday, April 24th at 7:30pm at the Kagawong Park Centre.

Upcoming Seniors Active Living events at the Park Centre: Yoga, Mondays at 9am; indoor walking, Tuesdays at 2pm; Yoga with Sam, Wednesdays at 11am; and Fitness with Kelly, Thursdays at 9am. There are also Chatter Matters Café sessions at 10:30am tomorrow (April 23). And yes - Euchre is back today (Wednesday, April 22) at 6:30pm! Contact Mary at 705 348-2285 for more information on any of the SAL activities.

We went our whole lives absolutely certain we’d never get a phone call from a vegetable. Then, one day… onion rings

Come on out to St. John’s Church in Kagawong on Saturday, May 2 at 7pm for a fundraiser for the Manitoulin Food Bank! Local musicians Cia and Bill Savage will be joined by Paul Best and Isaac Gosse for a classic rock sing-a-long. Donations and food items welcome, with all proceeds going to Manitoulin Family Resources.

Find yourself reminiscing about playing the trumpet in high school? Been longing to pick up that long-forgotten sousaphone? Good news - the Manitoulin Adult Concert Band is now a reality! Come out Wednesdays at 7pm to the music room at Manitoulin Secondary and join a group of like-minded amateur musicians playing for flugel fun and flute-y fellowship.

We are wishing several very special women some very special happy birthday wishes this week: Marilyn P, Jean W, Kristy K, Cameron H. You know you are getting old when you and your teeth don’t sleep together any more, and when you bend over to straighten the wrinkles in your socks, you realize you aren’t wearing any. When your back goes out, but you stay home, and when it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

FYI: our birthday jokes might not resonate with Cameron as she is the only one not celebrating her 29th birthday, but we hope the rest of you appreciate them.

The best part of the yucky spring weather so far is all the extra time we have to craft up a storm for the library’s Fiber Arts Fundraiser. Check out the project suggestions on their website (bit.ly/fiberfundraiser) to find dozens of small, silly projects for all ability levels that can be whipped up in just a couple hours. Donate your finished products to the library for their summer market fundraising table.

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke? Have a great week!

Wednesday, April 15, 2026

April 15, 2026

Did you hear about the rabbit that won the lottery? Overnight he became a million-hare. He used part of his winnings to buy a private hare-plane and flew to Hollywood. He’s quite the hoptimist and has dreams of starring in a big blockbuster movie. He’s hoping to get an audition for Hop-timus Prime.

We would like to extend many many congratulations to Jean and Jamie Ward who are celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary. When asked for a few words of wisdom about their long and happy relationship, Jean commented, “a wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity.” Jamie added, “The order varies for any given year, yo!”

The Manitoulin Community Choir is welcoming spring with a song! Come see them perform Friday, April 24th at 7:30pm at the Kagawong Park Centre.

Didn’t win the Team Fergmeijer sandhill crane spotting competition, but still are determined to bring home a prize? You’re in luck! The township is hosting an Ice Out competition! Guess when the ice will break free and float off Mudge Bay, and a prize could be in your future. Send your submission to dhillyard@billingstwp.ca before April 15th. Note that trying to melt the ice with a really big magnifying glass on a sunny day will disqualify you from the competition.

Upcoming Seniors Active Living events at the Park Centre: Yoga, Mondays at 9am; indoor walking, Tuesdays at 2pm; Yoga with Sam, Wednesdays at 11am; and Fitness with Kelly, Thursdays at 9am. There are also Chatter Matters Café sessions at 10:30am on both April 20 and April 23. And yes - Euchre is back Wednesday, April 22 at 6:30pm! Contact Mary at 705 348-2285 for more information on any of the SAL activities.

Find yourself reminiscing about playing the clarinet in high school? Been longing to pick up that long-forgotten saxophone? Have no fear - Manitoulin Adult Concert Band is now a reality! Come out Wednesdays at 7pm to the music room at Manitoulin Secondary and join a group of like-minded amateur musicians playing for flugel fun and flute-y fellowship.

Happy birthday to Carol L who will be turning 29 (again!) very shortly. We don’t always feel our age, that is until we hear our favourite song from our youth playing in an elevator.

The difference between a clown and a rabbit is that one is a little bit funny, and the other is a little fit bunny. Have a great week!