January 22, 2025

Please forgive us if this week’s column is not quite up to par. We’ve had a difficult couple of weeks. You see, we are pretty sure our house is haunted by a chicken. A fowl spirit. Possibly a poultrygeist! We plan to call an eggsorcist to help it cross over to the other side. 

Deepen your connection with your body with the free Inclusive Mindful Movement classes at the Park Centre Monday January 20 to March 3rd (8-9pm). Come out for a gentle, joyful movement practice focused on helping you find more ease in your movement and alignment. No dance experience necessary. Space is limited. Pre-registration is encouraged. www.bodystoriesdance.com (647-213-1497). 

We wanted to give a shout out to a former Kagawongian who is living it up in Calgary these days. We are sure you already know this, but we’ll say it anyway just in case you need the reminder: both age and glasses of wine should never, under any circumstances, be counted. Happy Birthday, Susie!

Fantastic news for winter sport enthusiasts - the Pickledome…er… Kagawong River Complex is open for skating. Community members are reminded to take the nets off the ice after using them and to turn off the lights before leaving. Otherwise, enjoy the ice!

This year is the 100th anniversary of the Old Mill in Kagawong and the museum board is planning a variety of ceremonial events and is looking for additional historical information.  If you know of anyone who could help or worked at the mill/hydro plant, the museum board would be grateful for any information. You can email oldmillheritage@billingstwp.ca

A friend was telling us she wasn’t able to put a chicken coop in her backyard because of a new bylaw in her town. We told her to make sure it had 4 doors. Then it would be a sedan. 

New year, new puzzles! Billings Library will host another free puzzle swap this Saturday, January 25th (10am-1pm). Bring a puzzle, take a puzzle (or 5). No puzzles to bring? No problem. There are always lots to go around! 

Is your new year's resolution to stay up on local politics? You can attend Billings township council meetings  virtually! You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly for the Zoom link. 

Calling all dancing queens and super troupers - save the date! Manitoulin Secondary School is presenting the jukebox musical Mamma Mia! February 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd. Ticket information will be available soon.

Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

With everything going on at home, here’s hoping we have the hendurance to get through another week.

January 15, 2025

As Team Fergmeijer was writing this week’s column we got a little peckish; we were down right Hungary. We had a deadline to meet and no time to waste, but we decided we would Russian to the kitchen and Czech the fridge to see if there was any Turkey. We found it, but sadly, the holiday leftovers were covered with a fine coating of Greece. Although we thought we Canada bit of Chile to it, we finally had to admit there is just Norway we could eat it at all. Although we’re Havana good time with these puns and Congo on and on with them, it’s probably best if we go ahead and Finnish this intro, now.

We are saddened to share that local village greeter Sadie crossed the Rainbow Bridge recently. She was a Team Fergmeijer superfan (well, a superfan of everyone, really), and she will be missed.

Deepen your connection with your body with the free Inclusive Mindful Movement classes at the Park Centre Monday January 20 to March 3rd (8-9pm). Come out for a gentle, joyful movement practice focused on helping you find more ease in your movement and alignment. No dance experience necessary. Space is limited. Pre-registration is encouraged. www.bodystoriesdance.com (647-213-1497). 

We thought we’d try our hand at a slightly more poetic birthday shoutout as we wish Vera C a very happy 29th birthday: 

Under time's still hand,

a bright flame flickers softly—

your words light the years.

International Puzzle Day is at the end of January. To celebrate, the library will host another free puzzle swap on Saturday, January 25th. Bring a puzzle, take a puzzle (or 5). No puzzles to bring? No problem. There are always lots to go around!

Want to stay up on local politics, but don’t relish venturing out in the cold and dark? Not a problem! Billings township council meetings are available by remote Zoom link. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Calling all dancing queens and super troupers - save the date! Manitoulin Secondary School is presenting the jukebox musical Mamma Mia! February 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd. Ticket information will be available soon.

Self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer, invite you to catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

Just a quick note of appreciation for our fans. Sometimes we think “Oman, this column is Ghana be of no interest to the readers” but every week, you guys are like, ‘give us Samoa!” Have a great week!

January 8, 2025

Happy New Year! We hope you rang in 2025 in style, whether that was all dolled up at a swank party ‘til 2am, or in your jim jams and in bed by 9pm. This is the time of year when many folks make out their resolutions - firm, occasionally optimistic, decisions to do (or not do) something. We managed to keep ALL our resolutions from last year… in a journal, on our bookshelf. For this year, we initially planned to commit to giving up all of our vices and bad habits at the beginning of the new year, but then remembered that nobody likes a quitter. So, instead, at the beginning of this new year, we each made a pact we would lose 10 pounds. Only 15 more to go!

A huge shoutout to Andy P for getting the rink at the Kagawong River Complex up and running just in time for a Christmas skate! Sadly, at time of writing, the rink has since closed due to the warmer weather. Keep an eye on the Kagawong Outdoor Recreation Facility facebook page for the latest ice conditions. 

Applications for the NEW Senior Advisory Committee (SAC) have been extended! Applications for the committee are due to the township (email tmills@billingstwp.ca) by Friday, January 10th at 12 noon. See the township website at http://billingstwp.ca for more information.

Even though Christmas has passed and we’re not singing about it any more, the weather outside can still be frightful. Don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Body Stories winter dance registration is open and there is still space available for the Kagawong sessions. Sessions run Mondays from January 20th to March 3rd with classes for the very young right up to adults. Check out their website for more information (www.bodystoriesdance.com). 

The newspaper may have taken a break over the holidays, but Team Fergmeijer never takes a break from celebrating birthdays (especially if there’s cake involved)! A very happy almost 29th birthday to Harrison N. He’s not quite there, but almost! And belated 29th birthday wishes go out to Melanie H, our Mainland Mom, Jen W, Chris T, and Kirby P. You all are looking really good for 29! In completely unrelated news, we seem to have misplaced our eyeglasses recently. 

Library and landfill are back to their regular hours: the library is open Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4pm to 7pm and Saturdays from 10am to 1pm. The landfill is open Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2pm to 6pm, Saturdays from 1pm to 4pm, and Sundays from 10am to 4pm. 

International Puzzle Day is at the end of January. To celebrate, the library will host another free puzzle swap on Saturday, January 25th. Bring a puzzle, take a puzzle (or 5). No puzzles to bring? No problem. There are always lots to go around!

Calling all dancing queens and super troupers - save the date! Manitoulin Secondary School is presenting the jukebox musical Mamma Mia! February 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd. Ticket information to be available soon.

Most resolutions are something that goes in one year and out the other, but if your new year’s resolution is to up your pun game, you can learn right from the self-appointed Kagawong pun laureates, Team Fergmeijer! You can catch up on all our past punny columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

We did have one more resolution from last year that we weren’t able to keep - that of becoming rich by prospecting for gold. It just didn’t pan out. Have a great week!

Holiday Special 2024

'Twas the night before Christmas and we're working through,

We almost forgot that the Spoz column was due!

So sit back and enjoy, as we recall the past year!

To this fun rhyming meter, we’ll mostly adhere.

The puzzle swap beckoned in January’s chill,

Where jigsaws were traded with laughter and skill​.

New Sic Sox bins waiting for textiles to mend,

Ensuring old fabrics could find a new friend.

From the Winterfest cheers to the Crane Challenge coos,

Activities in Kagawong always seem so profuse. 

And the northern lights danced over Bridal Veil’s crest,

A cosmic ballet that left all of us blessed.

As the weather got warmer we welcomed the spring, 

Celebrating with a tradefair on outdoors and angling.

The township celebrated with a new tractor acquisition

Kagawong is now ready for any weather condition!

New lines for the water! New bridges for cars!

The many benefits to living in Billings are ours.

New township website! New signs at the falls!

Now if only they’d reopen the Kagawong Mall…

The farmers’ market was lively this summer, no doubt. 

With fresh produce, crafts, and even takeout.  

It’s a gem through and through, and has gained much renown. 

Ethel deserves all the credit for how it's grown since lockdown. 

Throughout the year the festivals came. 

Jabbawong and NorthWords keep upping their game. 

The Elemental Festival followed in stride, 

Exploring the land with artistic pride.

“The rink needs a new name!” Council cried, ‘right quick!’

But they overruled ‘Pickledome,’ (which was our first pick). 

‘The Kagawong River Complex’ has style aesthetics, 

It’s the township’s new home for year-round athletics. 

And who should appear in the Park Centre hall,

But Steve Paikin himself—oh, the thrill of it all!

History night was another one to remember,

New banners gave deeper meaning to 11th November.

A new CAO brought an outlook unique, 

She keeps the township running at a level that’s peak. 

Youth Rangers explored and learned from the land,

Evening markets brought the crowds with purchases in-hand.

Spring brought rains, to farmers’ delight. 

Summer brought tourists, we guess that’s alright.

The autumn brought with it a return to schoolery, 

And throughout, we continued our usual punfoolery.

Now Kagawong rests, under blankets of snow, 

A village that thrives in ways we’ll never outgrow.  

From festivals, markets, and tales we hold tight, 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!

December 18, 2024

‘Tis the ho-ho-holidays and Team Fergmeijer just held our first dinner party last week. We have been wanting to host for a long time, and finally decided that there’s noel time like the present. We arranged it all in the St. Nick of time since we just missed the bad weather. On the night, the roads were right as rein(deer) for people driving over. Planning it was fun, though we spent a lot of time mulling over whether to have spiced wine or apple cider with dinner. In the end we just had both! There was Christmas Karaoke after dinner and we went with ‘Hold Me Claus-er, Tinsel Dancer.’ At the time, we thought we sleighed it, but in hindsight, we wonder if that mulled wine might have given us some false confidence. 

There will be a planned power outage this Friday, December 20th, for most of the island from 2am until 6am. Be sure to pile on the blankets that night!

With the holidays upon us, keep in mind Billings Township will have special holiday hours for many of its services. The Township office will be closed December 25th through January 1st, reopening January 2nd. Both the landfill and library will be closed Tuesday, December 24th, Thursday, December 26th and Tuesday, December 31st, but otherwise open their usual days and times. Checkout the township website for more information: http://billingstwp.ca

With the winter weather seemingly settling in on us, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

If you tuned in to the last council meeting, you already know that council has approved the installation of a new bulk water access and payment system. Users soon won’t need a key, as they can pay at the new meter that should be up and running sometime in 2025. 

Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Brad Graham who passed away last week. He was larger than life and left a lasting impression on the village. 

Body Stories winter dance registration is open and there is still space available for the Kagawong sessions. Sessions run Mondays from January 20th to March 3rd with classes for the very young right up to adults. Check out their website for more information (www.bodystoriesdance.com). 

We are sending Happy Birthday wishes to Christine L-M who turns 29 this week. Some words of advice from your (slightly) older friends: aging is inevitable. Maturity, on the other hand, is totally optional. Cheers to being forever young!

Recent Manitoulin Secondary graduates and their families are welcome to attend the annual Awards Night on Thursday, December 19th at 7pm to celebrate those graduates attending post-secondary institutions. MSS is thankful to local businesses and individuals who contribute to over $60,000 in scholarship and grant money for students. 

Remember that AWESOME pun we had in our column that one time? Catch up on all of Team Fergmeijer’s past columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

This holiday season we hope you get all you want and myrrh. Have a great week!

December 11, 2024

Team Fergmeijer hit the big city recently. We had to run a few errands, but also made plans to meet up with a friend. He texted us to meet at the vinyl shop in 45, but we actually made it in 33 (which was record speed). Afterwards, we wandered around the mall for a bit, though we didn’t stick around long. After all, once you’ve seen one shopping plaza, you’ve seen the mall. We only really spent time at the electronics store where there was a clearance sale sign that said, “Television for $1, volume stuck on full.” We knew that was a deal we just couldn’t turn down! 

Holidays are just around the corner! While you’re out running errands, keep in mind the Billings Township will have special holiday hours for many of its services. The Township office will be closed December 25th through January 1st, reopening January 2nd. Both the landfill and library will be closed Tuesday, December 24th, Thursday, December 26th and Tuesday, December 31st, but otherwise open their usual days and times. Checkout the township website for more information: http://billingstwp.ca

With the winter weather seemingly settling in on us, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

The township is now accepting applications for those interested in joining the NEW Senior's Advisory Committee (SAC) If you are interested in this opportunity, check out the town website for more information and submit your application by December 11th (today!), 2024 at 4:00pm to tmills@billingstwp.ca. 

Party vibes and happy birthday energy go out to Katherine T who is turning 29 and to Hailey F who is not quite 29 yet. If the thought of another birthday is getting you down, remember - you aren’t old, you are just well-seasoned. We hope you have an extra spicy day!

The library wishes to thank everyone who took part in the annual silent auction fundraiser. It raised just over $4000 to support the library! A gentle reminder that auction winners can pick up their items by December 10th at the library (Tues & Thurs 4-7pm; Sat 10-1pm). Contact the library directly if you need to arrange a pickup outside of regular library hours. Any items not paid for/picked up by the deadline will be offered to the next highest bidder. 

Remember that AWESOME pun we had in our column that one time? Catch up on all of Team Fergmeijer’s past columns in our archive at https://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com/

While we were out shopping, we decided to practice our haggling skills. We asked one salesperson if they could give us a better price since the item had today’s date on it. She told us we could either buy it at full price or put the newspaper back on the pile. Have a great week!

December 4, 2024

Every once in a while, Team Fergmeijer gets questions from our loyal readers and by far the most popular one is “where do you get your jokes from?” The answer is that we are always on the lookout for the most groan-inspiring puns and bad jokes. When we come across one, we make a note of it and file it away in our well-organized online dad-a-base (for all our “dad” jokes, you see). It lives there until we find just the right column to include it in. 

With the winter weather seemingly settling in on us, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

The township is now accepting applications for those interested in joining the NEW Senior's Advisory Committee (SAC) If you are interested in this opportunity, check out the town website for more information and submit your application by December 11th, 2024 at 4:00pm to tmills@billingstwp.ca. 

All the snowfall this week really makes it feel like winter for most people. For us, it is the switch to Winter landfill hours. You can now access the landfill Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2pm-6pm, Saturdays from 1pm-4pm and Sundays from 10am-4pm.

Another question Team Fergmeijer often gets asked is “if you could go anywhere (other than Billings) where would you go?” We’ve actually been discussing taking a trip to Rome this year! Of course, we can’t travel in the winter for work reasons, and while the spring and summer of Rome is appealing, it is peak tourist season and we don’t relish the experience of all those crowds. It probably goes without saying that we really don’t want to experience the fall of Rome either. 

Any other questions you want answered by your intrepid reporters? Email us at fergmeijer@gmail.com

The Island Singers - which includes many Kagawongians - are hosting their holiday concerts this weekend! Join them on Saturday, December 7 at 3pm at the United Church in Little Current, and Sunday, December 8 at 3pm at Freshwater Church in Mindemoya. Tickets for either concert are $10 and are available at the door.

Got birthdays? Want to make someone you love feel special? When you send their info to us to include in the column, you can ensure they will get that warm feeling inside. Could be joy, could be embarrassment, but the point is, we can make it happen! 

The library wishes to thank everyone who took part in the annual silent auction fundraiser, and to remind you that auction winners can pick up their items by December 10th at the library (Tues & Thurs 4-7pm; Sat 10-1pm). Contact the library directly if you need to arrange a pickup outside of regular library hours. Any items not paid for/picked up by the deadline will be offered to the next highest bidder. 

‘Tis the season to appreciate family. Not many people know that one of our parents was born a conjoined twin, though they were separated when they were kids. It’s true! Of all our uncles, our favourite is on our father's side, once removed. Have a great week!