March 15, 2019

It’s St. Patrick’s Day this weekend! Remember, if you are lucky enough to be Irish, you are lucky enough. For those of us who aren’t Irish, we can pretend. (It’s okay, we pretend we’re good on Christmas, don’t we?)

We are formally announcing the official opening of the 2019 Great Billings Sandhill O’Crane Spotting Competition! If you see or hear these iconic critters in the fields or flying overhead, let us know. The first to notify us wins bragging rights for the next year! There’s even talk of a trophy...

As self-appointed, unofficial, unauthorized, uninvited, unwarranted, unapproved, unlicensed, unsanctioned members of the new Rebranding Committee, Team O’Fergmeijer has launched a new contest to help rebrand the township: a limerick to represent the fabulousness that is Billings Township! We have been fielding submissions all week, and are still accepting submissions to kagawong@live.ca. Here is one of the standout entries, submitted by Willa O’W:

Team Fergmeijer’s contest is sticky

I’ll think whilst I drink a lime rickey

Kagawong is superlative

The Falls? No alternative

Have you noticed? We’re getting quite lim’ricky.

The MSS Music Program, led by Chris O’Theijsmeijer, is having a Roast Beef Dinner & Dance fundraiser at the Burpee-Mills complex Saturday, March 23 at 6pm. Music students will be performing after the meal, and you’ll be able to dance the night away to the toe-tapping tunes of Missy and the Speed Wobbles. Tickets are $20 per person, and are available by calling 705 968-0404, or at the door.

If you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy, do you get a rash of good luck?

Do you have photographs from any decade for St. Paul's on the O’Hill? The search is on in order to create a photo collage with a written history of St. Paul's for display at the church. Photos can be of any event wedding, christening, youth group, UCW. Your original photos will be returned. Drop us a line if you have any you would like to share, or contact Deb O’Flaxman directly.

The Township of O’Billings is currently seeking members for the new Lake O’Kagawong Resource Committee. The committee is looking for seven (7) members of the public representing permanent and seasonal residents as well as the local business community. The committee terms of reference are available on the public documents page of the township website. If you are interested in this volunteer position and are an eligible elector in the township, please submit a letter outlining your qualifications to Kathy O’McDonald at kmcdonald@billingstwp.ca. The deadline for applications is March 26, 2019.

Mayor Ian O’Anderson would like to remind you that council passed an updated by-law to regulate the parking of motor vehicles on, and the obstruction of, municipal roads. No overnight parking (10:00 p.m. – 8:00 a.m.) on any township road or right-of-way from October 1-April 30; No daytime parking on any township road or right-of-way when the road has not yet been plowed; No obstructing township roads at any time with any object or material (e.g., snow pushed into or across the road from a driveway) Failure to follow these regulations may lead to your vehicle being towed, cost-recovery for township expenses and a $200.00 fine.

Your favourite journalistic duo is taking it easy on St. Patrick’s Day this year. Last year we had a few too many and ended up taking a bus home. Sure, sure, it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but neither one of us had ever driven a bus before. 

March 8, 2019

That collective sigh you heard this afternoon was the mingling sighs of students excited for a solid week of holidays and those of parents bracing themselves for a solid week of trying to entertain the little ones at home over March break. 

If daylight savings time messes up our sense of time of day, all this snow really messes with our sense of time of year. We went back into the archives and realized that this time last year we had launched the Sandhill Crane competition! We almost missed the start of this annual spring competition. You know, because of the 5 feet of snow on the ground and more falling from the sky. Not that we’re bitter or anything. But we digress. 

We are formally announcing the official opening of the 2019 Great Billings Sandhill Crane Spotting Competition! If you see or hear these iconic critters in the fields or flying overhead, let us know. The first to notify us wins bragging rights for the next year! Competition is fierce among the locals with long-standing rivalries cropping up even during good natured Christmas concerts. 

As self-appointed, unofficial, unauthorized members of the new Rebranding Committee, Team Fergmeijer has launched a new contest to help rebrand the township: a limerick to represent the fabulousness that is Billings Township! We have been virtually flooded with submissions already, but are still accepting submissions to kagawong@live.ca. Some of our favourite ditties so far:

There once was a town small and quaint,

Where hustle and bustle, there ain’t.

There’s friendly folks and good fun,

Also meatloaf on a bun,

And Turkeys are the patron saint! 

Speaking of the Billings Sandhill Crane competition...

One spring, just after the thaw - 

You’ll never guess what they saw!

The coo of the crane,

Peter and Willa could name:

CAAAWWCAAAAWWWCAAAAAAWWWWW

This last one, just signed “JW,” aptly describes Billings this past winter:

I’m getting so sick of this snow

I honestly wish it would go!

Shoveling’s the pits...

I’ve gone through eight pairs of mitts!

I want summer’s heat and sand, yo!

A reminder that council passed an updated by-law to regulate the parking of motor vehicles on, and the obstruction of, municipal roads. No overnight parking (10:00 p.m. – 8:00 a.m.) on any township road or right-of-way from October 1-April 30; No daytime parking on any township road or right-of-way when the road has not yet been plowed; No obstructing township roads at any time with any object or material (e.g., snow pushed into or across the road from a driveway) Failure to follow these regulations may lead to your vehicle being towed, cost-recovery for township expenses and a $200.00 fine.

Don’t forget! Clocks move one hour ahead this weekend. Last year at this time, Team Fergmeijer went to a rally to protest and boycott daylight savings time. Unfortunately, we showed up an hour late…Have a great week!

March 1, 2019

We hope that everyone weathered the weather and the power outages this past week. Team Fergmeijer fared just fine and didn’t get too cold. Finally all those years of getting coal in our stockings at Christmas is paying off! It could have been much worse - last time Team Fergmeijer was at the mall, the power went out, and we were stuck on escalator for four hours!

Seriously though, hats off to the Hydro crews who worked around the clock to get power restored to the island after this week’s blizzard. 

Happy 29th birthday goes out to Sandi H. We hope you get to rest up on your big day before you have to gear up for a heck of a busy spring and summer season. 

Billings Town Council has recently established a Rebranding Committee. As self-appointed, unofficial, ex-officio members, Team Fergmeijer is launching a new contest to help rebrand the township: a limerick will do the trick! Submit a limerick praising the virtues of our community to kagawong@live.ca to have your ode to the village published right here in this very column.

The results are in for February’s euchre tournament as reported by the organizers: first place, Brad Parkinson & Bill Traynor with Mike & Susan Arbour coming in a close second. Karen Noble & Myra Duncanson were third, and Chris Bigras & Dorothy Antoine / Jim Lanktree & Fred Pickard tying for fourth. Most Loners went to Brad Parkinson & Bill Traynor, while low score went to Donna Vanhorne & Eva. The door prize was won by Myra Duncanson. Brad Parkinson & Bill Traynor generously donated back their winnings. 

Speaking of competitions, believe it or not, the sandhill crane competition is a mere month away. Who will be the first to hear the melodious coo of the first sandhill cranes to return to Kagawong? We’re just estimating that timeline for launching the competition. The way the weather’s been this winter, we’re not convinced that any crane in their right mind will be coming out any time soon.

The next Museum Committee Meeting will be held on Monday March 4, at 7pm, at St.John's Anglican Church Hall. Members of the public are welcome.

We had a friend who was in the pharmacy to get the flu vaccine when the power went out. She didn’t call ahead and wasn’t sure she’d be able to get the needle. It ended up being a shot in the dark.

Council for the Township of Billings passed an updated by-law to regulate the parking of motor vehicles on, and the obstruction of, municipal roads on February 19, 2019. Please note the following restrictions are now in effect:

No overnight parking (10:00 p.m. – 8:00 a.m.) on any township road or right-of-way from October 1-April 30;

No daytime parking on any township road or right-of-way when it is obvious that the road has not yet been plowed;

No obstructing township roads at any time with any object or material (e.g., snow pushed into or across the road from a driveway)

Failure to follow these regulations may lead to your vehicle being towed, cost-recovery for township expenses and a $200.00 fine.

Next week, don’t forget to march forth and celebrate the only day of the year that is also a verb! Have a great week!

February 22, 2019

With all this snow, we’ve really had to go digging for some good puns this week. And we’ve come up with them in spades! So please allow us to plow through some word play while you get the scoop on what’s been going on in and around Kagawong this past week...

Congratulations to all the Billings youth who were involved in Manitoulin Secondary’s production of The Mikado last week! You shone both on- and off-stage, and we didn’t have to chop off any heads. Bravissimi! 

While you are out shoveling your driveways and walkways, we encourage you to also take a quick peek at your roof. The build-up of snow and ice can be extremely heavy and can cause serious damage to your home. Consider clearing the snow off, or do it the T eam Fergmeijer way: call someone else to come do it for you! 

Shout out to all the volunteers that keep our community one of the most exciting and involved on the Island! In case you weren’t aware, new regulations have been brought in to manage committees of council and all the volunteer committees are working hard to meet the new standards of operating (on top of organizing all those great events!). The town will also be posting all the meeting dates for the various committees (they are all open to the public), so if you want to poke your head in and see the inner workings of the Rec committee, Go Green committee or the Economic Development committee, check out the town website (www.billingstwp.ca). 

The next Museum Committee Meeting will be held on Monday March 4, at 7pm, at St.John's Anglican Church Hall.

When you think about the history of human innovation, the invention of the wheel really got things rolling, and the invention of the broom swept the nation, but it’s the invention of the shovel that was truly groundbreaking. 

Thanks to a number of volunteers, the rink is in great shape and is open for public use. 

Due to ongoing maintenance, the Billings municipal office at the Old Mill has closed and relocated temporarily to the Park Centre. The town will operate out of this temporary location for the duration of the Old Mill closure. In the process of transferring the office, there has been an interruption in phone service. If you can’t get through on the regular phone number (282-2611) you can reach the office at 282-0318. Hours of operation and email contacts remain the same.

Thankfully, there has been a bit of a lull in the snowfall this week. The roadways and driveways have been cleared out. Here’s hoping another snow storm doesn’t blow through and make those neat and tidy paths completely dishoveled. Have a great week!

February 15, 2019

Defer to the Lord High Executioner! Join a train of little ladies! Bow down to the daughter-in-law elect! You can still catch Manitoulin Secondary School’s production of The Mikado tonight and Saturday night. The show features many local youth onstage and in the live band. Tickets available at the door. Don’t miss it!

Very happy 29th birthday wishes go to Heather S, who celebrates today! One week later, another local newspaper columnist is turning 29 as well. Happy early birthday, Ruth! 

Winterfest was another success with many people braving the cold to visit, play, eat, drink and generally be part of the shenanigans. There was also an indoor euchre tournament during the day for those who preferred above-freezing temperatures. The results of the tournament are: 1st Place Mike & Susan Arbour; 2nd Place Harold Rogers & Elaine McDonald; 3rd Place Karen Noble & Dorothy Antione; Most Loners Harold Rogers & Elaine McDonald; Low Score Ken Buck & Candy Tracy; Door Prize Elaine McDonald. Thanks to the Rec committee for putting on another stellar event!

Thanks to a number of volunteers, the rink is in great shape and is open for public use. 

It may be cold and snowy, but summer will be here before you know it! Applications (cover letters and resumés) are now being accepted for a variety of seasonal positions within the township. Lengths of contracts vary from 8-12 weeks. And for any budding entrepreneurs out there, the town has three boardwalk shops for rent near the market pavilion for the 2019 season. Check out the township website at http://billingstwp.ca for more information. 

Due to ongoing maintenance, the Billings municipal office at the Old Mill has closed and relocated temporarily to the Park Centre. The town will operate out of this temporary location for the duration of the Old Mill closure. In the process of transferring the office, there has been an interruption in phone service. If you can’t get through on the regular phone number (282-2611) you can reach the office at 282-0318. Hours of operation and email contacts remain the same.

As teachers, Team Fergmeijer is often called upon to defend the metric system over the imperial system, or vice versa. There are, however, some units of measurement that are equivalent in both metric and imperial:

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

The time between slipping on a peel and hitting the ground on your back = 1 bananosecond

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 lite year

1 000 000 aches = 1 megahertz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarse power

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilo mockingbirds

 

February 8, 2019

Roses are red,
Mudge Bay is blue
Team Fergmeijer loves Billings
And thinks you should, too!

Happy early birthday to Valentine’s babies Neil L and Chase C. Neil is celebrating 29 years of romance, although Chase isn’t quite up to that number yet. 

Tomorrow! Dig out your extra festive toques and mittens - Winterfest is here! Saturday, February 9 from 10am to 2pm there will be all sorts of  wintery activities going on at the Park Centre! There will be lumberjack-themed games for the whole family outside, as well as a warming station with coffee, tea, and the Snowflake Café canteen inside. Proudly sponsored by the Billings Recreation Committee. 

Don’t get held up “at the bridge!” Every third Wednesday evening, come out to the Park Centre and try your luck in the monthly Euchre tournaments. There is also a euchre tournament as part of Winterfest, beginning at 1:30pm at the Park Centre. 

It may be cold and snowy, but summer will be here before you know it! Applications (cover letters and resumés) are now being accepted for a variety of seasonal positions within the township. Lengths of contracts vary from 8-12 weeks. Check out the township website at http://billingstwp.ca for more information.

 

Zumba classes have returned! Every Thursday from 7-8pm at the Park Centre. Drop in rate is $10 per class, or pay the entire month at a time at a rate of $5 per class x the number of sessions in the month. Choose the plan that works for you!

Defer to the Lord High Executioner! Join a train of little ladies! Bow down to the daughter-in-law elect! Make plans to attend Manitoulin Secondary School’s production of The Mikado: performances are February 14-16 at 7pm at the high school, and feature a number of local youth onstage and in the band. Tickets available at the door. Don’t miss it!

The Artist Connection invites artisans from across the township to join them for their next regular meeting. photographers, artists, writers, folk artists, mixed media artists, potters, jewellery designers, and more will be meeting at the Park Centre on Monday at 7pm.

Earlier in the week, Team Fergmeijer went out for a walk in the freezing rain. We don’t know what came out of the sky and hit us, but it hurt like hail! Have a great week!

February 1, 2019

It’s cold.

It's so cold we had to break the smoke off the chimney.

It's so cold we had to open the refrigerator to heat the house.

It’s so cold the chickens have started lining up outside the cafe for a turn in the oven.

It's so cold that roosters are rushing into KFC and begging to use the deep fryer! Little do they know that in Kagawong, KFC stands for the Kagawong Fitness Centre, which is open all through the winter! Contact Sharon Jackson for membership information.

The cold isn’t all bad: Winterfest is coming! Saturday, February 9 from 10am to 2pm there will be all sorts of  wintery activities going on at the Park Centre! There will be lumberjack-themed games for the whole family outside, as well as a warming station with coffee, tea, and the Snowflake Café canteen inside. Proudly sponsored by the Billings Recreation Committee. 

It's so cold a streaker froze in mid-streak! Mayor Anderson hung a plaque around his neck so we have to pretend he's a statue until Spring.

It's so cold we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.

It's so cold, we’re drinking hot sauce instead of coffee at the monthly Euchre tournament. Every third Wednesday evening, come out to the Park Centre and try your luck in the monthly tournaments. There is also a euchre tournament as part of Winterfest, beginning at 1:30pm at the Park Centre. Remember, there’s warmth in numbers.

It's so cold trees are chopping themselves into firewood.

It's so cold, we actually saw a teenager pull his pants up.

Zumba classes have returned! Every Thursday from 7-8pm at the Park Centre. Drop in rate is $10 per class, or pay the entire month at a time at a rate of $5 per class x the number of sessions in the month. Choose the plan that works for you!

It’s so cold we couldn’t really clean the house; we just defrosted it.

It’s so cold the mail broke when we tried to open an envelope.

It’s so cold that even Elsa is bothered by it.

What do three little maids, a Lord High Executioner, and a grand Pooh-Bah have in common? They are all appearing onstage in Manitoulin Secondary School’s production of The Mikado! Performances are February 14-16 at 7pm at the high school, and feature a number of local youth onstage and in the band. Tickets available at the door. Don’t miss it!

It’s so cold these are the only jokes we could write this week. 

Have a great week!