December 3, 2025

It’s hard to believe that Christmas is just 3 weeks away! Yours truly really got caught up in the whirlwind of holiday events last year, and it can be overwhelming. This year we are opting for a quiet, unfussing Christmas. No extended family over, no expensive gifts, no elaborate meals. No need to worry about whether we got the right thing for this person or that person. Just time by ourselves with the dog, hangin’ in our little home on the mountain overlooking Whooville…wait a sec…

With the winter weather showing all the signs that it is here to stay, don’t forget that Billings council meetings are all available by remote Zoom link if you are not able to attend in person. You can find more information on their Facebook page (www.fb.com/billingstownshipkagawong) or contact the town office directly. 

Team Fergmeijer loves to celebrate birthdays with Kagawongians (current, former, adjacent, and in-spirit). Although we do spend an inordinate amount of time peering through windows and rifling through mail looking for signs of someone’s big day, it is a lot easier if you just give us a heads up. Send us your birthday info, or the info of your friends (or enemies… no judgement). We’ll give them a proper birthday shout out in the column. 

The library’s annual silent auction fundraiser was the biggest and best ever! The library board wishes to thank everyone who took part through donations and bidding. Gentle reminder that auction winners can pick up their items by December 6th at the library (Tues & Thurs 4-7pm; Sat 10-1pm).

Get the ultimate stocking stuffer for your little ones: sign them up for free books mailed right to your door! Billings families can register their children (under 5) for the Dolly Parton Imagination Library. Each month, your child will receive an age-appropriate book in the mail, at absolutely no cost to you. To take part, complete and return the registration form found on the library’s Facebook page (FB.com/kagawonglibrary), or visit the library in person for a paper copy and more information! 

The Island Singers will be performing their holiday concert on Saturday, December 6 at 3pm at the United Church in Little Current, and Sunday, December 7 at 3pm at Freshwater Church in Mindemoya. Tickets ($15) are available at the door for both concerts. 

We hope all the hunters are satisfied with the results of hunting season this year. We are not deer hunters ourselves, but we do try to stay informed about the topic. For instance, we learned that in fact, a deer’s favourite snack is not fawn-due, nor is it cookie doe. And while they will eat sour doe bread, it’s not good for them.  

Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

It was so embarrassing - we misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop. Can’t believe we lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors. Have a great week!

November 26, 2025

Due to personal reasons, Team Fergmeijer will be saying “Aye” and “Arrrggggh” instead of yes and no for the time being. We don’t want to get into the details, so please respect our piracy during this difficult time. 

This Friday! The Manitoulin Community Choir will be performing in Kagawong on Friday, November 28th at the Park Centre. This is always a great concert with a lovely variety of music. You might even spy a Kagawongian or two in the chorus! The concert starts at 7:30pm, and tickets are $15. 

Seniors Active Living is offering a seniors gift making workshop on Saturday, November 29 at the Kagawong Park Centre! Choose from the chance to make a cedar wreath ($35), a treasure box ($30), ceramic gift ornament tags ($35) or truffles or spiced “bourbon” cherries ($35). Contact Mary at 705 348-2285 to register and for more information.

We are wishing a very happy birthday to Candy T, Nora U, and Chantelle W as they celebrate their 29th birthdays. You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is known as the Geezer’s Paradox. 

Team Fergmeijer has always had a strong entrepreneurial streak. Currently, we are thinking of starting a new service that connects people that purchased a large appliance with children that have no box fort.  

The Island Singers will be performing their holiday concert on Saturday, December 6 at 3pm at the United Church in Little Current, and Sunday, December 7 at 3pm at Freshwater Church in Mindemoya. Tickets ($15) are available at the door for both concerts. 

From the KFC to the KGB, catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

Reminder for anyone planning their big day: any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall. Have a great week!

November 19, 2025

Team Fergmeijer is all about safety, but the weather got snowy before we got our winter tires on this year. We ended up having to drive 50 km in the snow and ice to get a computer part we needed. That bytes. Talk about a hard drive. We listened to the radio while on the road but kept jumping between the oldies station and a CBC nature documentary. By the end of the trip, we decided that Carpenter ants are just like regular ants, except rainy days and Mondays always get them down. 

Thank you to all the vendors and visitors to Kagawong this past weekend for Christmas in Kagawong. Even the jolly old elf himself stopped in! What a great way to kick off the festive season.

The Billings Library would like to thank everyone who took part in the online silent auction this past weekend! Thanks to generous donors, there were over 90 items up for bid, with all proceeds going toward the library. Winners will be contacted through Facebook Messenger. 

Happy birthday to Dwyne C and Mel C who are celebrating their 29th birthdays. It’s actually kind of nice to be waking up about the same time you used to go to sleep on a Saturday. 

The Kagawong Seniors Active Living program is still going strong this month, with yoga on Tuesdays (9am), and Fitness with Kelly on Thursdays (9am), both at the Kagawong Park Centre. Everyone over 55 welcome! Call or text (705) 348-2285 for more information. 

The Manitoulin Community Choir will be performing in Kagawong on Friday, November 28th at the Park Centre. Save the date! This is always a great concert with a lovely variety of music. You might even spy a Kagawongian or two in the chorus! The concert starts at 7:30pm, and tickets are $15. 

Kagawong singers are in high demand! The very next weekend, the Island Singers will be performing their holiday concert on Saturday, December 6 at 3pm at the United Church in Little Current, and Sunday, December 7 at 3pm at Freshwater Church in Mindemoya. Tickets ($15) are available at the door for both concerts. 

Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

We really admire the person who came up with ‘a penny for your thoughts’, ‘don’t nickel and dime me’ and ‘another day another dollar’. They sure knew how to coin a phrase. Have a great week!

November 12, 2025

Like many out there, Team Fergmeijer can find this time of year a bit of a drag. We have some friends who are endlessly optimistic and often tell us we should ‘seize the day!’ We, however, believe you should not seize the day. It may startle the day and cause it to become aggressive and give you a nasty bite. Instead, we prefer to approach the day calmly, without making eye contact, pet it gently, and slowly enfold it in a careful embrace. If the day shows any signs of resistance to being engaged with, it is likely to turn on you. Best to back off and return to bed. 

It’s the official start to the festive season in Billings with Christmas in Kagawong this weekend! Check out the Christmas market at the Park Centre and then head down to St. John’s Church for their annual baked goods table, craft table, and gift baskets PLUS homemade lasagna, as well as beef and turkey pot pies (9am-2pm). On second thought, if you want some of the meat pies, you should hit the church up first. Those pies go fast!

In addition, the library’s annual silent auction kicks off with bidding starting tomorrow (Thursday) at 9am and closing Sunday at 6pm. Visit FB.com/groups/libraryauction to bid!

The KGB (Kagawong Gobble Brigade) have been making their presence known in the village proper lately. It’s unclear if the turkeys are on a protection detail for local businesses or casing the joint while planning some fowl play.

Part-time Kagawongian Dave T and former Kagawongian Rachel M are both celebrating 29 fantastic years on the Earth. We hope your birthday is as fun and ridiculous as our jokes!

The Manitoulin Community Choir will be performing in Kagawong on Friday, November 28th at the Park Centre. Save the date! This is always a great concert with a lovely variety of music. You might even spy a Kagawongian or two in the chorus! The concert starts at 7:30pm, and tickets are $15. 

Thank you to the Kagawong Cenotaph Board for organizing and sponsoring the Remembrance Day service at the Park Centre on Tuesday. Remembrance Day may have passed, but you can still check out the banners around Kagawong honouring local veterans. Lest we forget.

Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

Do people who run marathons know they don’t have to? Have a great week!

November 5, 2025

We at Team Fergmeijer have decided that there is a grownup version of “the floor is lava”. It’s when you’ve gotten dressed to go out and are waiting for your ride to arrive. You now have to somehow exist in your home for 12 whole minutes without touching anything covered with pet hair.  

Thank you to the Billings Parks, Recreation and Wellness Committee for Halloween for doling out some fa-boo-lous treats to young ghouls and goblins at the Park Centre last Friday!

Miss the puzzle swap last weekend? The library still has lots of puzzles that you can borrow just as easily as you can check out a book (or a game, or a movie, or a cake pan!). Stop in and see what the library has to offer. 

Last call! The Seniors Active Living Program is planning a potluck lunch on Saturday, November 8 at 11:30am at the Kagawong Park Centre. Reserve a seat by contacting Mary ASAP at 705-348-2285 or seniors@billingstwp.ca.

Happy birthday wishes go to Connie F, Gail L, and Jody K. We hope you live it up as you celebrate 29 whole years on the planet! Hey, remember when you used to think people your age were ‘proper’ grownups and had their life in order?

The Kagawong Cenotaph Board is sponsoring the annual Remembrance Day Service, Tuesday, November 11, at 11am, at the Park Centre. The theme will be the 80th anniversary of the ending of the Second World War. A potluck lunch of finger foods will follow the service. Lest we forget.

Do you know a volunteer who deserves recognition? The township is calling for nominations of community volunteers in several categories (Arts and Culture, Outstanding Community Group, Senior Volunteer, Youth Volunteer, Historical Pillar of the Community, and Mayor’s Volunteer Service). Drop off the name of the deserving person or group, along with the category and a short explanation of why you feel they should be recognized to the town office or send via email (deputyclerk@billingstwp.ca) by Nov. 11th. 

The library’s annual silent auction kicks off next week! Bidding starts Nov. 13th at 9am and closes Nov. 16th at 6pm. With nearly 70 amazing items from our generous supporters, you don’t want to miss it. Stop by FB.com/groups/libraryauction to see a sneak peek or two.. 

How do you know Christmas is just around the corner? You can sense Santa’s presents! Christmas in Kagawong is coming up soon on November 14th & 15th - save the date!

Also on Saturday, November 15th, join St. John’s Church for their annual baked goods table, craft table, and gift baskets PLUS homemade lasagna, as well as beef and turkey pot pies! Stop by the church from 9am-2pm.

Last weekend, Team Fergmeijer threw a ball for their neighbour’s dog. A bit extravagant, but he looks amazing in a tuxedo. Have a great week!

October 29, 2025

Your friendly neighbourhood Fergmeijers have been looking forward to Halloween all year and it’s finally here! Now, given that there are three sanctioned candy holidays, we would like to propose that we leave halloween alone (obviously), but we make Valentine’s day a cheese holiday and Easter can shift to be a potato holiday. 

At time of writing, the Blue Jays are undefeated in the World Series! Though to be fair, this column is due before game 1. But our statement still stands. Let’s go Blue Jays! 

Don’t be a scaredy-cat - bring the little ghouls and goblins out to the Kagawong Park Centre on October 31 from 5pm to 8:30pm!

Happy birthday wishes go out to Diane N who turned 29 recently. And because there is no cure for the common birthday, to Meranda V we say, ‘Cheers to another year!’ as she celebrates another trip around the sun. Not quite her 29th, but getting closer… 

The Library is hosting a fall puzzle swap this Saturday (November 1st). Freshen up your collection just in time for the snow to fly. Stop in between 10am and 1pm to trade your used puzzles for new-to-you jigsaws. No puzzles? No problem. They have plenty to go around!

Did you know Dr. Suess’s mother was a massage therapist? A Ma Seuss, if you will. 

The Seniors Active Living Program is planning a potluck lunch on Saturday, November 8 at 11:30am at the Kagawong Park Centre. Reserve a seat by contacting Mary at 705-348-2285 or seniors@billingstwp.ca! 

Remember that time the Kagawong Gobble Brigade took over the road to Maple Ridge? Or the time the township celebrated that special event? Catch up on old times with the complete archive of Team Fergmeijer columns, all the way back to 2015! Check out http://teamfergmeijer.blogspot.com to get your fill of puns and haiku. 

A gentle reminder, that if you suck at playing the trumpet, that’s probably why. Have a great week!

October 22, 2025

It’s spooky season again and Team Fergmeijer always enjoys getting into the spirit of things. We got together last weekend to try and reach the ‘other’ side. It wasn’t until we managed to contact the departed spirit of a window washer that we realized we’d been mistakenly using a squeegee board. 

To be filed under “current events,” there will be an island-wide power outage Sunday, October 26th from 7am until 3pm. Take note, and plan accordingly. Remember, power outages are no laughing matter: they’re too dark.

Oh my gourd, Kagawong is creeping it real with a special event October 31st at the Kagawong Park Centre, courtesy of the Parks, Recreation and Wellness Committee. More details coming boo-n! 

Many happy returns to Jack O and Rachel B who are celebrating their 29th birthdays this week. The older you get, the better you get. Unless you are a banana. Also, does ‘many happy returns’ sound like a Costco refund policy to anyone else?

The Library is hosting a fall puzzle swap on Saturday November 1st. Freshen up your collection just in time for the snow to fly. Stop in between 10am and 1pm to trade your used puzzles for new-to-you jigsaws. No puzzles? No problem. They have plenty to go around!

The Seniors Active Living Program is planning a potluck lunch on Saturday, November 8 at 11:30am at the Kagawong Park Centre. Reserve a seat by contacting Mary at 705-348-2285 or seniors@billingstwp.ca! 

Thank you to the museum board for their efforts to honour local veterans through the flags hung throughout the village. Stay tuned for more details on the upcoming annual Remembrance Day service on November 11th. 

Dear ghosts, if you can move things around and flicker lights, you can use a mop. Have a great week!